Thursday, July 24, 2008

Praise in the early hours

My Heavenly Father
Who is like You?
There is no one.
No one can even be COMPARED to you
For you are the one true GOD
Maker of the Heaven and Earth.

Man may deny your existence
Rationalize it
Analyze it
Ask for proof.
But do you know why i like you, God?
You don't bother with it
You are too great to have to convince the heart of man that you exist
Those who TRULY want to know that you exist, will get the priviledge of meeting you
But those who question your existence out of scorn and arrogance, you look at with pity

The same Man who denies your existence
Struggles to understand YOUR creation
Seems almost paradoxical
What you created within seconds
Has taken man MANY CENTURIES to PARTIALLY UNDERSTAND
The complexities of the human body alone
Took you ONE BREATH to create
But has taken man YEARS UPON YEARS to understand
And even the little understanding gained is theoretical, not practical
That is just one example of your greatness

You Command the Sun to rise and set
You tell the birds just when to start their tireless rendition
You even gave each specie of bird a particular song
So none feels left out of the Earth's orchestra
The Oceans cry out to you
The Earth shakes at your will
Yet with all your power
You give man free will
When you could easily, with the mere flick of an eyelash
Command man to love you
You choose to let him be
THAT is true love

Who is like you God?
There is no one
NO ONE.
You are faithful, even when i am unfaithful
When i am at my lowest
You reach out and pull me up
Time and time again i cry out to you
And there you are
Right there
Like you never left
But you did say "I will never leave nor forsake you"

I publicly declare that I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
There is no amount of wealth, fame, achievement, or success
That can make up for what you have done for me in my life
How you protect me and my family
And provide not only financially, but emotionally
Even on this road to success, my hands get weary
My feet become sluggish
And my heart begins to decrease its efforts
You remind me to take in a deep breath
And look up
And there you are
Smiling down on me
And you give me the strength i need to move on

I am so grateful i have you in my life
Where man achieves due to human connection
I will achieve greater because i have the DIVINE CONNECTION
As long as i live
I pray that my life will be one that brings you praise, not sorrow
Brings you joy, not sadness
Even as i slip from time to time
I ask your forgiveness, my Father
My heart is filled with joy this morning
Because in you Father, i have promises
In you Father, I have hope
In you Father, i am made Whole
You are my ROCK
MY SHELTER
My refuge

I wish i were eloquent enough to give you the praise you so rightly deserve,
My Father
But even more
I pray MY LIFE gives you the praise you so rightly deserve
For EVERYTHING you have done for me
And that which you are yet to do,
I say
THANK YOU.

"I look up to the hills.
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth"

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The verdict

Pardon me, but for some reason thats the only title i could come up with.
School ish has me so busy i can't even do my blog rounds anymore :(. I try so hard to keep up, but school's a monster! Oh well, soon, it'll all be over.

I just wanted to touch on a 2 incidents that have been on my mind lately.

First of all, its my housing situation. My brothers graduated last semester and moved out of our apartment, so i had to find a new place to stay. To help my parents save money, i decided to move in with a friend that i knew had trouble meeting her rent and other bills sometimes. But i figured wth, at least it would be an experience. We got the apartment and moved in late may, and shortly after i left for MD for the summer.
Things were going fine. I sent my share of the rent a week before it was due, and she paid the rent. Last monday or tuesday, however, i recieved an alarming phone call. Ms D, who is the manager of the apartment complex, called me to tell me that she has been trying to reach my roomate, and that if our rent is not paid by 3pm that afternoon, she was going to go downtown and file for eviction, and in a couple days, my things will be out on the street. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
I immediately tried calling the girl, but it was going straight to voicemail. I then proceeded to call a friend of mine, and after shouting on the poor soul, managed to reach my roomate. Thankfully, she got things sorted out. Apparently her mom did not send her rent money when she said she would, and so when she went to give the check, she didn't know that it was only my share that was in her account, and so the check bounced without her knowing. While i am happy the situation is diffused, i'm annoyed because i wanted to use the rent to build some credit, and now thats not working out. So, as far as i am concerned, the kid gloves are off. I took the nice approach, seeing as i know that she is dependent on her parents to send her rent. But seeing as doing nicey nice has got me no where, i am now reverting to bitch mode. :). Its simple really. I have never believed in mixing friendship with business. Now, i am simply eliminating the friendship aspect to get what i need done DONE. Call me cold, but hell, as least the rent will get paid. She was also supposed to call me after to explain exactly what went down, and how this situation happened since last tuesday, but she never did. She claims she never got my messages either. She didnt tell me anything TILL I CALLED HER THIS EVENING AND ASKED HER WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON. So, i simply told her, as nicely as i can, that i don't want this situation to repeat itself, so if her mom has not called her back by this friday about the rent, she should call her mom. This nonsense must not repeat itself.

On another note, i'm going to talk about a guy, whom i'll call M for now. M and i met in may, in a wierd way. I was going with my friend and her family for a graduation ceremony in another state, and M was my friend's cousin that came down from another town. To cut a long story short, he developed feelings for me, which i did not reciprocate at first. Then, when i started reciprocating, he got this offshore engineering job, which will keep him away for weeks on end, and also expect him to come in to work at any given point in time. What i mean is, if he's in town today, he can literally be called up right now to go offshore and he might be back tomorrow, or he might be back mid august. Yeah, that kinda thing. He asked me out in several ways, and i turned him down in several ways. At some point, the emotional frustration was too much, and so when i called him to tell him we should just be friends, he actually ended up telling me first that he wanted us to be friends, seeing as he won't have time to devote to me as he would like, or something like that. I was relieved and sad at the same time, but i felt i was not ready to deal with such an emotionally drenching situation. So for the last 2 weeks, outta sight has been outta mind. But over the past couple days, the situation changed. I find myself purposely conjuring up situations involving me and him out to dinner, or just chilling and watching tv, stuff like that. The thing is, i haven't seen the dude since may. Another thing is, when i head back south, there is a high possibilty we might meet. And even when i go back to school, seeing as we are in the same town and he is my friend's cousin, that increases the chances of us meeting even more. The thing is, i don't know how much i like him, or if i really want to put myself in the situation of dating him and dealing with all the issues his job comes with. While i am pretty sure i am averse to dating him because of his job, i wonder if i am making a mistake. Hmm.

HELP PEOPLE!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Random ish

This is just going to be a bunch of stuff spewing from my brain, so bear with me.

Thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday! I basically moped for most of the day, and then a friend threw me a suprise birthday party! All in all it was ok. I did want to do some kind of blogsville mixer, but i was too busy to plan one :( HOWEVER, i am still interested in one, i'm just to lazy to plan one. So if anyone aka unwritten as any ideas, HIT ME UP!

I heard the other day on the news that this one male nurse is being sued because of indecent behavior. Whats the indecent behavior, you ask? Well, i'll tell you. He was in charge of this woman who was conscious but could not move any part of her body and could not talk right? So what does he do? He fondles her, and forces her to fondle his male genitalia. Like really though, is he THAT desperate to get some action?

I attended the Nigerian Entertainment awards a couple weeks back. Was FABULOUS! However, i have made a note to myself: NEVER LIVE IN NYC! gosh! the metro there (especially after being spoilt by the clean D.C. metro) is the most disgusting thing i have ever been in. Yuk. I wouldn't mind visiting the city, but the hustle and bustle is too much for me to cope with everyday (which suprises me, seeing as i am a lagos girl and all).
Anyway, something strange happened when i was there. Allow me to randomly interject the fact that i met OLU JACOBS! ok, back to my point. So, i was only supposed to go with these 2 other girls right? So one old friend of mine had told me earlier that she was coming. We used to be really tight before, but i am sorry to say that the babe has more issues than a transvestite. Basically, we don't talk much anymore. She had randomly called me earlier that week to tell me that she wanted to come but has no place to stay. Apparently she found someplace to stay. On friday, when i got to NYC, i found out that online ticket sales end at 5.00pm, and i wasn't sure they were selling tickets at the door. When i called her to tell her, she begged me to help her get her ticket, saying she would pay me back. I agreed.

Another problem arose: she didn't know how she would get to the event. Plus, some of her friends from her school were also coming down and had no clue where to stay ot how to get there. So me now, being Captain Save The World, took all their wahala (trouble) on my shoulders. I arranged for them to come and meet me in my friend's sisters place in manhattan. I helped the girl shop, to the point where i didn't get anything i needed for the show. As we were shopping, we happened upon a capital one atm, where i told her to withdraw the money shoe owed me ($30). She with drew $40, and gave me. I used part of it to get sturvz from BK for us to eat. Then, later, after the show, around 2am, we were looking for where to eat, (5 of us), and she kept bothering me about money, saying i owed her oney. Now, if i used $14 to get us food out of the $40, it means i don't owe you any money, right? But at that point in time, i was too worried about how one of my friends would get back home (she stayed in brooklyn) to start disturbing myself about someone's money. So sha, i got back to my side on sunday.

The following tuesday, she sends me this text saying "its funny how you never paid me my money after i asked you severally. Hmm." I'm like are you kidding me? I'm in MD, she's in upstate NY. I was like ok, send me your account number, bank name and routing number and i will send your money. Then she starts to argue with me how i owe her $15 THE WHOLE DAMN DAY. In the evening, i was like look, this makes no sense. Even though i know i don't owe you $15, i'll just give you anyway, cuz i can't be dragging that kind of amount with someone. Then she sends me a message saying "yeah, i didn't think you'd drag shit too." At that point, i'm like OH HELL NO. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BRAINLESS FOOL? I called my friend and she calmed me down, but i should have known not to even help the girl in the first place. This is the same girl i talked about in a post long ago, the girl who kep malice with mr for 3 months, only for her to come and tell me that she doesn't remember why she was mad at me. Once a screwed nutcase, always a screwed nutcase :)

I also went for the naija reunion in baltimore. Apparently the dude i stayed with has been having the hots for me for 3 years, and decided to tell me (i kinda knew though). In his words, "i won't rest until i get you." i wish him luck :). Oh yeah, and the party on saturday was FUN

Lastly, the one dude i talked about, who works offshore? i decided that we should just remain friends, at least for now. I hope all my lovelies on here are doing well (mehn its about time i do some rounds). Have a beautiful week everyone!