Sunday, November 6, 2011


Its been a rough couple days

More accurately, its been a rough couple months.

Keep finding myself stand up, only to fall back down. Kinda tiring actually.
I feel like that child that just discovered that not everyone looks like him, you know? The child that notices he's on all fours, but everyone is doing the one-two step.

So, of course, the child tries to do the same.

And falls. Hard.

But he's determined, so he tries again. Still. Falls.


Thats how I feel right now. Like each time I am getting close to my Father, each time everything's going well, I fall. Something comes and blindsides me, and its like this thing within me bursts forth, its ugliness spreading out everywhere, and most awfully, it spreads on He who wakes me up every morning

Every morning. Without fail.

So what is one to do? Give up? The temptation is oh so strong, especially when it seems like though you are getting no help from heaven.

But within me a small voice cries out "I must be about my Father's business. I. Must."

You see, this voice remembers. Remembers the times when I was too blind to see, and He gave me sight. When I was too weak to reach, and He pulled me up. Each time I was lonely, and He was there.

The ever faithful friend. No questions asked, just love unconditional.

So if, for no other reason, no long awaited blessing, no positive note in sight, I must be about my Father's business. I must.

He has given up too much for me to turn back now.

Hebrews 10 vs 39: "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved."



aloted said...

thanks for stopping by our blog... i see u have resumed after a two years break...
will be back

Trivita said...

everyone have a similar business we have to get up every day, but that effort it worth due to there are some colourfull days, that do you must enjoy. So keep calm and smile.

NATURALbella_ said...

its amazing how we are all individually different yet share so many of the same experiences...continue to keep the faith & strength, always shine!

Axzanaeb said...

Yup, true!
Keep the good work!

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Anonymous said...

Oh, I understand, all too well (with this posting and your heart's deliberating of liberation).

Some days, will is stronger; and with most, the flesh composed of a weak mind is pulled like an atom bomb to the ground of my defeat.

I tell you what, going by what you have said in recognition of your belief in God, I will say this, my will will pray for yours.

Not sure what God you profess believing in, but there is a brilliant passage found in the Bible:

"For I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:13


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