Phoenix

Business

2011-11-06T23:37:00.003-05:00

Its been a rough couple days

More accurately, its been a rough couple months.

Keep finding myself stand up, only to fall back down. Kinda tiring actually.

I feel like that child that just discovered that not everyone looks like him, you know? The child that notices he's on all fours, but everyone is doing the one-two step.

So, of course, the child tries to do the same.

And falls. Hard.

But he's determined, so he tries again. Still. Falls.

Again.

Thats how I feel right now. Like each time I am getting close to my Father, each time everything's going well, I fall. Something comes and blindsides me, and its like this thing within me bursts forth, its ugliness spreading out everywhere, and most awfully, it spreads on He who wakes me up every morning

Every morning. Without fail.

So what is one to do? Give up? The temptation is oh so strong, especially when it seems like though you are getting no help from heaven.

But within me a small voice cries out "I must be about my Father's business. I. Must."

You see, this voice remembers. Remembers the times when I was too blind to see, and He gave me sight. When I was too weak to reach, and He pulled me up. Each time I was lonely, and He was there.

The ever faithful friend. No questions asked, just love unconditional.

So if, for no other reason, no long awaited blessing, no positive note in sight, I must be about my Father's business. I must.

He has given up too much for me to turn back now.

Hebrews 10 vs 39: "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved."

Phoenix

Pointed Return

2011-10-27T00:40:00.002-04:00

Wow.

I can't believe it.

2 Years. 2 YEARS I have been away.

So much has happened, so much to tell.........

What brings me back here? That's the nagging question....

The name "Phoenix" dropped in my spirit tonight. And i remembered this blog, and all the hate and the anger it started off with....little did i know back then I was truly, in every sense of the word, a phoenix, being reborn in the love of God.... but I was too confused in pain and hurt to see it then.

What brings me here again? That was the million dollar question right?

It appears another phoenix is arising. One much bigger, much greater, much more grandiose than I can dare to imagine.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him..." 1 Cor 2:9 NIV

Let the journey begin.

Phoenix.

Step 2: Painkillers anyone?

2009-12-24T03:03:00.002-05:00

Thats precisely what i wanted at the time. Painkillers.

Something much stronger than tylenol (wierdly enough, it never works for me). I needed something to dull the pain of the breakup. So i reverted to the only one i knew how to revert to in such situations.

Jesus.

You see, i'd known Him for a while. Growing up in church, it was kinda hard not to. However, we had a kinda pattern going on. Simply put, i called Him when i needed Him. I would run after Him like a dog after a bone.

When i got what i want, i was gone.

So, of course, i cried as i knelt at my bed in the morning, praying for God to take the pain away. Oddly, i think i remember praying not to hate him, because the last thing i needed was to be bitter. The next couple weeks were a blur. February came, and left. Then march came.

A huge week long event happens at my school each spring. I was one of those in charge, so of course i had to attend each event. The final event is a ball/party of sorts. At this event, my friend B came. I had known him for about 3 years, but we had a very wierd relationship. I didn't know much about him, and we only talked when we met at social events. But every time we spoke, we had this amazing chemistry. I remember the semester before he had made my ex mad because he sent me a text asking why my ex followed me everywhere like a dog

Snicker.

Anyway, B came for the party. We had started getting close, and i was glad he came. I was pretty much at his side for most of the night. But then i noticed this girl from another school going after my ex like mosquito to blood. Kinda felt hurt, but i brushed it off.

The following week, i heard they were going out. I can't say it didn't hurt, but what could i do? I knew at the time that i did not want him back, but it was still wierd nevertheless. She came for my friend's bday party with him, and barely left his side. But i never once disliked her or hated her (never really believed in that crap, and i really don't understand why girls do that. I mean, he's the one that hurt you, not the other woman, right? But thats for another post). I just accepted it and moved on.

May came. Semester was over. My plans for internship seemed pretty much sunk, and i was trying to fight panic. What was i going to do for the summer? I didn't want to stay in my small town, that was like suicide. But i didn't want to go and travel and stay with family and not work. So, again, i prayed. And i prayed hard. I realize now that God did not give me a break between my needs ( i jumped right from needing help getting over my ex to need for a summer internship). God is so amazing....He did it so i wouldn't walk away from Him again...My amazing heavenly father...I love Him soo much mehn....

But anyway, back to the story y'all.

School was done. People left town. And Honeywell still did not know what to do with herself. So she prayed harder, and sought God harder. Then the wierd dreams started. Dreams so traumatizing i would literally dread night time because i knew i had to sleep, and i did not want to sleep because of the dreams. My bed felt like a trap. I didn't really have anyone around me, and so i didn't have anyone i could talk to anyone about it. Lord it was hard. But it was only the beginning.....

Tune in to the next post. Sorry if it seems jumbled, its 2.17am and i'm full on honey nut cheerios and my eyes are drooping...

Merry Christmas y'all and Happy Birthday Jesus!! (I hope you get a BIG cake in heaven. :))

~Honeywell.

The Breakup

2009-12-14T22:17:00.002-05:00

This is the story of I and my ex.

He was the first one i can say i had sex with. He is also the first one i was actually in a relationship the longest with. He is also the one i think i came closest to loving (notice i did not say i loved him).

He also was the one that God got me away from.

We met last fall. The chemistry was ridiculous. After a couple months, in a slightly tipsy state, i agreed to date him (after he had asked me 3 different times and i said no).

Shortly after, i went to nigeria. Missed him a lot. Couldn't wait to get back to him. But then, even before i left, we fought. Often. After i came back, we kept fighting. Over silly stuff. At the back of my mind, i knew that it wasn't going to work. I didn't have the strength to leave though. Then i stopped caring about him altogether. Was strange. Didn't really understand my emotions.

Then came the fateful day. I was driving home from the mall, when my bank called me. A pleasant voice on the other end of the line asked me, "Ma'am, did you recently make a donation to an islamic scholarship?"

I am not muslim y'all.

A series of other questions followed. Before i knew it, i was rushing back to school, to my bank. They had closed. The lady was nice enough to print out for me the last couple transactions.

Over $500 was missing from my account.

I was stunned. I called my ex, and went to go and meet him on campus. Sat down in a conference room and cried. He was distant. Seeing as he wasn't going to be any use to me, i wanted to drop him wherever he wanted to go. Went home, and started thinking of how i would deal with the mess. The bank lady had told me that the bank cannot refund me the stolen money, and I would have to call the merchants and beg for my money back.

No one picked my calls.

I was finally told my some lady working for Proactiv that it seems like some orders were made using my back account info to be delivered to an apartment in my apartment complex.

Armed with this information among other things, i headed to the police station. I sat there for over an hour, alone. The station was empty. An impersonal voice through a speaker on the wall informed me intermittently that an officer will be with me soon. Still had not heard from my boyfriend. Other people called to check up on me. Not one word from him.

The officer finally came. He asked me a couple questions. He seemed rather impatient, to tell the truth. It started to look like he thought i was making up the whole story, for whatever reason. He finally asked me to come outside to his car to make a statement. I asked him why we couldn't do it inside, and he responded like i was retarded and asked me again to step outside. As i was about to write a statement, i realized that the whole thing was futile, and he was probably going to trash my statement. So i decided to decline, and i entered my car. I was tired, hungry, and very frustrated. I called my boyfriend. I asked him why he hadn't even bothered to check up on me.

Then he told me he wanted to break up.

I realized shortly after that i wasn't mad at him for breaking up with me. Truth be told, i knew it wouldn't go anywhere. What i had trouble with was the betrayal.

We were friends before we started going out. What kind of a friend abandons their friend in such a time? I felt that even if he wanted to break up with me, he could have at least waited till the next day. I know i know, silly eh? But oh well... i remember, during the recovery phase, God took me to this passage:

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

Matthew chapter 7 vs 6.

I think afterward i was a zombie. Oh, i still had fun, still hung out with friends. But when i went to bed at night......its an experience i never want to go through again.

More on my road to redemption coming soon...

Love y'all! :D
Honeywell.

Where has Phoenix gone?

2009-12-12T23:53:00.002-05:00

That is the question of the year: Where has phoenix gone?

I'm still here. Still surviving. Still strong.

A lot of things have been happening in my life.

God called me, and i answered..... entered into the most beautiful relationship that man can encounter...literally. Never really understood when people always said "Have an intimate relationship with God"..... till He showed me what that meant.... the One that will never leave you, never forsake you, is always there, always understands, always comforts, always disciplines, always loves regardless of your dumb, stupid, selfish decisions... y'all, i can boast about Him all day....but those of you that know Him know what i mean...

Went through a wonderful and hellish summer at the same thing (isn't it wonderful how God can make a seemingly unbearable situation one of the most exciting times in your life). A trying semester. New friendships, a lot of growing up, amongst other things. Had my ex boyfriend that broke up with me in January confess he never got over me.....dealt with the temptation to go back to him, and finally moved on.... because i realized that i can never truly be happy knowing that i am doing something that my Father does not want me to do, and it'll only end up hurting me.....

There is a lot of gist, and a lot of stories... really hard to blog in the middle of the semester because of work and all (plus not having internet in my house kinda has something to do with it). I kinda miss blogsville though, and i miss telling stories and sharing opinions.... Maybe i might start that again. Maybe. Who knows these things? :)

But i want to tell the most important story of all: the story about how i met God (not face to face, before y'all get creeped out)..

Honeywell

A wonderful performance

2009-11-22T14:31:00.000-05:00

GOD

2009-10-10T13:30:00.002-04:00

Imagine yourself in your car at a redlight.

Now imagine an 18 wheeler beside you. Its early morning, sun is just coming up. The

shadow of the 18 wheeler is completely over you.

Which would you rather be hit by; the 18 wheeler, or the shadow of the 18 wheeler?

Realise that God allowed the 18 wheeler to hit Jesus, so that the shadow (which can't

hurt) hit you.

I look at my God

At how big and holy He is,

And I catch this cold feeling

My bones dry up.

But I remember the Love of Christ

And His love infuses into my body and makes new bones and tissues.

And I realise that

With all my sin

It is a blessing I enter His temple and not get struck to death.

~Honeywell

COME AND SEE OH

2009-08-06T15:47:00.000-04:00

BLOGSVILLE PEOPLE, PLEASE, COME AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS:

Hey shorrie, can i have your number?

2009-08-03T01:22:00.002-04:00

A few weeks back, i was driving back from a friend's place, midnight-ish. The weather wasn't too bad, so i rolled down my windows (driver and passenger) to get fresh air. I'm on the phone, talking to a friend of mine, having wonderful conversation. All's good.
I get to this traffic light, still engrossed in the conversation with a guy on the phone. Then, all of a sudden, i hear loud voice bellow:

"HEY, AM I GETTING ANY TONIGHT?"

It was in that instant i knew i was tush, cuz i felt mortified. The word "mortified" probably passed through my brain at the time. I was seriously horrified, felt dirty even. I look to my right, for the source of the hideousness

*moves head to the right*

and there is IT is: the epitome of ghettoness looking at me from the car on my right. He was leaned out so far, half his body was out of the window.

Meanwhile, my brain went into crisis mode and produced a reaction.

"nooo..."

Thats what i did. Said "no" like a child who was told something by his tired and aggravated dad, and is trying to convince himself that it is a lie but is not quite sure of himself.

But it didn't end there.
The guy speaks again:

"CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER SO *OAHDOBL"

*Thats what what he said sounded like. There's nothing like black ghetto southern accent to make you doubt your command of the english language. They always talk like they have ice in their mouth*

There i sat, in the car, feeling angry yet disgusted. The light was still red. My instinct was then to shout. However, these days, you don't know who is carrying a gun. So i held my tongue and rolled up the passenger side window. He said some more things, but i couldn't hear.

Right when i was worried that the guy might do something stupid e.g come out of his car in the middle of the road or something, the light changed. I quickly sped off, while the guy made his right turn and went his way.

UGH!

Maltesers instead of Eclairs

2009-07-25T01:07:00.003-04:00

The title kinda explains how i feel. I wanted Eclairs, but got something else.

Ok, so i'm in this new town, and i mentioned in a previous post that i had met a guy here (can't remember what i called him in a previous post, and i'm too lazy to check, so i''ll call him Big boy, or BB. I think i called him "big" something before. whatever sha). Me and BB have been chilling pretty much errday (my cousin thinks the dude likes me). I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with all his attention, so one bright sunny afternoon, i asked him if he was this nice to all his friends. He asked me why. I simply told him how its typical for naija guys to shower all this attention and time and gas and money on a girl if they liked the girl, and that i am not looking for such right now (to be honest, i'm not sure what i want anymore. i think a guy whom i like and who likes me sounds perfect). The conversation was kinda long, and i knew i made him uncomfortable, but i wanted to put my cards on the table, so he knows that if he chooses to continue doing all this stuff for me, he shouldn't be doing it in expectation of some reward.

Anyhoo, so i was chilling the other day at home with my cousin, and decided i needed some excitement (boredom can make you do strange things. Not that i was even bored, i was with BB, but i decided i wanted some drama. lol). So i remember this dude i've seen a couple times, who plays the piano and guitar. Seems to have a certain swagger i like, plus he has this pair of glasses that make him look hot! (dont know when i started liking guys with glasses. or chubby guys. but thats another issue). So i describe the guy to a female friend, and she says that there are two guys that fit my exact description. After much discussion, she decides that i must be talking about Mr. White (MW from now on). She tells me she'll call him and let me know wassup.

I woke up yday to see a missed call and a txt from a number i don't know. Then, i recieve a txt from my friend, telling me that the dude agreed, and she has given him my number. I'm excited, (which makes me feel shameful, dont know why). I dettered from answering his text: i had to find out what my friend had told him, so i know what foot to put forward (You know we guys like to plan). So i am looking forward to night time, when i'm home (after hanging out with BB), to do my thing (dont try me oh, i have game!). But i was about to be surprised.

So BB and i went to the aquarium (i'd never been to one before). Was fun. After we were done, we were in the car, trying to figure out what to do next. I found a way to bring MW into the convo (not hard, seeing as i had been thinking about him). I described MW, the guy i wanted to, BB, while pretending i was asking because of a friend . To my surprise, i found out the guy i admired, MW, was not the guy whom my friend had hooked me up with!!! my goodness! to say i was flabbergasted was an understatement. Turns out the person who now has my number, who i had been looking forward to talking to when i got home, was someone i didn't even know.

So as soon as i got home, i went on fb, and checked BB's friend list. I come across a guy whose name was similar to MW's name, and noted he wasn't my type. I am furiously scanning, looking for the name of this mystery guy, the dude who had my number. Seeing as people change their names on fb (like from "chukwuka madueke" to "Chuck iknowwhatyoulike Madden"), I was getting frustrated, cuz i figured that was why i couldn't find this mystery guy. I txt BB and ask him what the real name of my mystery guy was, last name and all. I went back on facebook and checked again, only to see IT WAS THE GUY WHOM I FIRMLY MARKED IN MY MIND AS NOT BEING MY TYPE.

Wierdly enough, i had asked God if i should ask my friend to hook me up with this guy. God said no. I went ahead and asked my friend, and now i have my friend upset with me cuz apparently this dude, who isn't my type, called her and was complaining that he has tried reaching me and i'm not responding. Meanwhile, the one i want is still at large. I thought i learned by now that God had a sense of humor. I guess not. I still love HIM though. :).

In summary:

Ideal equation: Honeywell + MW

Real equation: Honeywell + Not My Type Guy + Annoyed friend.

REVELATION! REVELATION! REVELATION!!!!!!

2009-07-23T17:37:00.002-04:00

Lol. I feel like a town crier.

But i did feel like i got an epiphany to a question that i didn't even know i was asking this afternoon, a question i know some of us struggle with, or have wondered about at one point in time or the other.

Ever wondered what happened to the people in the old testament? You know, who didn't have a chance to meet or even hear about Jesus and therefore get saved that way? Well, read 1 Peter chapter 3 vs 18-20.

In my bible (which is actually for kids, but whatever!), it reads:

"....He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, through whom also he went and preached to the spirits in prison who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built...."

All i can say is, since God ministers to us differently based on where we are in life, i can only pray that the Lord minister to you better than he did to me concerning this question. AMEN.

Love,
Honeywell

PS: COME ALL YE, COME ONE AND ALL! And read my previous post. Women, please don't be upset with me, but we need the truth y'all!

PPS: I wonder how old y'all think i am. *giggles*
i

In The Middle Of Physics

2009-07-22T02:22:00.005-04:00

Don't worry, my title isn't supposed to be some great mystery you have to unravel. Its simply what i am doing now: helping my cousin with physics.

Time: 1.23am, central time.

Was roaming on blogsville while i let him attempt to solve some questions, and i decided to drop a note.

For one thing, UNWRITTEN IS BACK!
Ok, thats enough about her :)

I actually want to comment on something. Something i was told about 2 months ago that really changed the way i thought about a lot of things.

Have you ever thought about why its hard to be a single mother? I mean, really thought about it?
There are many reasons why some would say its hard:

1. There's only one income coming in
2. Raising kids is hellish
3. And on and on the list goes.

But do you know why its hard for a single mother, even if money wasn't an issue?

Its because we women were never designed to be heads of the household.
And when you aren't created to do something, logic dictates thats it generally harder to do it.

What do i mean exactly? Well, the bible says we women should submit to our husbands. I know, i know, right there i can feel all the independent women in the house raising hell. Calm down. I was once part of your group, and so i can feel you indignation. Just hear me out.

In the world we live in today, the "Independent woman" is celebrated. Who is she? The woman who is a top exec, has her own car, own house, and all that shebang. You know? She has her stuff together, at least to the eyes of the world. But haven't you noticed how unhappy those women usually are? I kid you not, if you read up the autobiography of accomplished, single/multiple divorced women, they all sing the same sad tune at the end of the day.

Why is that?

Its because they weren't created to be all that. Now, am i saying its wrong to have all those things? No. Not at all. As long as your priorities are straight.

Submitting to your husband does NOT mean you become his doormat. It simply means his word goes. Thats all. And if you know how to use your womanly power, it simply means what you want gets done, even though "his word" goes. :)

But lemme get back to the original matter at hand. Women were created to be taken care of, and the men to be the caretakers. Food for thought: its generally easier for women to give their lives to Christ than men. Why? Because God promises to take care of our needs. Women like to be taken care of. Do the math.

On the other side of the coin, why don't we ever hear about single dads? Cuz its not like they aren't out there. They are. When we do hear about them, however, we generally (and i stress generally) hear about how nice it would be for the children to have a mother figure, but thats about it. The children are generally well taken care of. Why? because men were created to be heads of the house.

My fellow women, this was a bitter pill for me to swallow. But i have learnt, at my young age, thats God's will must be done, regardless. So its either you get with the program, or get frustrated. Try to rule over your husband, and he'll most likely make you unhappy, or leave. Try to do the single woman thing, and the pleasure lasts, but only for a moment.

Why? Cuz you weren't cut out for alla dat.

~Honeywell.

Random rant

2009-07-13T19:50:00.003-04:00

Nigerian movies never cease to amaze me.... ok, if somebody is shot, or just had a heart attack, what is the point of shaking them violently in the name of sorrow? to move all their organs about till they finally collapse? nawa oh...

Anyhow people, how is everybody? bored at work, so decided to come on here. Its been t wo weeks *sniff*

- First off, everybody, start thanking God oh. at least 2 people i know (i think there's a third person) lost their father over the last 2 WEEKS. So while life might not be as comfortable and as plush as you like, at least you are still alive. You can go to the bathroom bvy yourself. Don't think thats a blessing? Imagine if everytime you needed to pee, you had to wait till someone could come and take you. And if no one was home? Oh well, you wait till they get back. If your bladder couldn't triumph over the pressure, then you are left sitting in a mess, with your relatives coming back to look at you with disgust. Now, does it sound more like a blessing? Thought so. You might not be dining at the best restaurants, or driving the best cars, but the Lord who loves you more than you can know is preserving you. Don't make Him leave before you realise how good He is to you oh!!!

- Y'all. have you seen the video they released today of michael jackson's hair on fire? My my, it was kinda creepy, to me anyway, especially after they showed the bald spot left behind. Check out msn.com for the link, and let me know what you think.

- Now, i am going to say something that will probably upset the Obama die hards, so be warned (i'll try to tread lightly though): I am somewhat worried about the way in which people blindly follow him because of something he represents to them. Now, i am not saying he is a bad man, and I for one am happy that a black man is now president, but at the same time, i think i should sound a note of warning-> don't be so quick to jump on the bandwagon with a man you know nothing about. Seriously. I am not bashing him, but i must say that while i was never for mccain, i wasn't for Obama either. He just seemed to be the better of 2 not-so-hot decisions at the time (not that i voted anyway). And thats just my humble opinion. I'm not saying he will not do great things or anything like that, but, like i said, if your sole reason for following a man is simple because of what he represents to you, then you might want to sit down and take a good think. If you can, by yourself, dredge of good, sound, logical reasons why you follow him e.g his policies and stances you agree with, then good. If not, Hmm.

-On to personal issues. Something kinda wierd (at least to me anyway) happened recently (and yes, this is a man issue). I was talking to a friend, whom i'll call dealer, that i met through a mutual friend, and i not-so-jokingly asked her to help me network aka meet new men. Not for relationship, i must state now, but simply to have more friends. Why men, you ask? Well, i must say, for me personally, men are a lot easier to get to know than women, who might either jealous you and hence not talk to you, or stick to their own so tightly that you're even scared to smile at them (reminds me of a post i read recently somewhere in blogsville about how naija people at gatherings tend to form extra tight circles that are hard to break and are ridiculous, quite honestly).

Anyhoo, earlier that day, before talking to my friend, i went to help set up for an event at a church where i didn't really know anyone at all. Was the first to arrive on the scene (yay me!). Later, a guy came, and then after that, a girl. Both were suprisingly sweet and open (for naija peeps anyway). Then this third person came along, whom i'll call big boss. In contrast to the other 2, big boss simply gave me a look and walked away. Found that quite strange, especially in light of the other 2 people.

Event started and ended. Was fun. I had burnt a naija cd for the event (which eventually wasn't played because of time), and was asked by a gentleman if he could keep the cd, to which i agreed. Then Sunday came along. Church time! I must confess, i love to seat right at the 2nd or 3rd row, with all the big women with their geles and stuff. Anyway, its offering time (blessing time!), and we have to dance to the front and drop our offerings. Dancing back to my seat was a slow process (you know all those women who will do the 2 step and cupid shuffle before they go back to their seat), so i am left dancing in the row where my seat is, trying to get to my seat. I look to my left randomly, and low and behold, there was big boss, right beside me! Felt kinda wierd. I honestly didn't want to say hi, but there was no where else to go because of the slow procession. So i simply squared my face forward and danced to my seat.

At sometime after 9pm, dealer randomly calls me, and starts outlining what intially sounded like a business deal. I am left confused, and so i asked her to repeat herself. She proceeds to tell me how her phone got broken, and so she couldn't go through her phone list to figure out who would be perfect for me. But for whatever reason, she couldn't get this face out of her head, even though she and the person weren't close (she didn't have his number even). So, she calls a cousin of her's, amd gets the dude's number. So i'm sitting there thinking, wow, this dude must be something, if she doesn't know him and yet can't get his face out of her head. So i eagerly ask who the person is. She clearly states:

"BIG BOSS".

Details later (hopefully).

Have a splendid weekend!

~Honeywell.

IF YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, YOU'LL GO TO JAIL. YES, YOU READ RIGHT.

2009-07-01T19:09:00.002-04:00

Ok, people, i just heard this on CNN less than 5 mins ago and i just HAD to share......

For those who have not heard the gist about South Carolina Governor, i've got your back. Here's the low down...

So about 2 weeks ago (i think), the governor went missing. Seriously. It was all over the news that he went missing, and neither his wife nor his office people knew where he was.

Later on, his office released a statement saying that the governor is not missing, but went hiking on the Appalachian trail (some random trail that goes through the bush to new york).

On that same day (i think), rumors started spreading that the governor went hiking NUDE.

Following that report (i believe it was a day or two later), it was reported that the governor was not hiking the Appalachian trail as his office said, but was actually in Argentina. According to CNN, the governor decided to take off 2 weeks to clear his head (i kid you not, thats what they said).

Upon his return, questions were raised as to whether the governor could be faulted for any wrong doing, but seeing as he apparently took the leave with his own money, it was not big deal. It was later reported that he used part of the government's money ($8000) but he said he would refund the state.

At a press conference called for the governor, what was to be a forum to explain his trip turned out to be a confessional, as the governor got to the podium, looking very sad (like he had something weighing on his shoulders) and stated solemnly that he actually went to argentina to see the woman he has been cheating on his wife with. Apparently this has been going on for a while.

Now, this evening, CNN is reporting that the emails sent back and forth between the governor and his mistress have been released. All over the internet are videos of people reading the long, romantic letters they sent back and forth to one another. Some had him telling her how he liked her tan line, amongst other things.

But this is the kicker: Apparently the governor can be convicted because under South Carolina law, any man or woman found to have committed adultery or fornication can recieve a fineof up to $500 and a maximum of 1 year in jail. I do have to dampen your enthusiasm by remarking that CNN reported that the last person to be sentenced according to this law was in 1909.

So, in summary, if you dey South Carolina, and aggro dey catch you, hol' am oh, if you no wan go jail! :)

Yours fabulously,
Honeywell

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!

2009-06-30T16:47:00.002-04:00

Ok, I have to write this quickly before my boss comes back to check on our experiment. Just wanted to let blogsville know that TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! I don't think i have been this excited about a birthday in years. But who wouldn't be, when you realise just how wonderful, faithful and good God has been to you? Anyway, just wanted to let y'all know. Haven't done anything yet (other than work). Funny enough, i am going to have to work unpaid overtime today because we haven't finished our experiment yet. But its all good. Its really important for me to thank God for this day, so i am going for fellowshipb right after work, and then its off to this trendy jazz restaurant for dinner! PRAISE GOD!

Love,
Honeywell.

PS: Gist to come later... i've started writing it, but haven't got round to finishing it yet. Please pardon any spelling errors in this. I chose to write in yellow, for whatever reason, and i can barely see what i am typing

No title

2009-06-17T13:42:00.002-04:00

I seriously cannot think of a title right now. I'm bored at work, so decided to come on here. Its been a while, and i have been very unfaithful...blogsville, i beg your forgiveness...

Regarding my last post, i do get those moods sometimes, yes. Feels wierd to me because, if you knew me, you'd never suspect... just goes to show huh? But thanks to all who came and comforted me.... may God never leave you alone in your time of need.... amen. Special thanks to unwritten...sometimes, the best thing an ear needs to hear is that it has a twin :).

Anyway, on to random news (y'all know how i do)...

1. Apparently, there was some high school kid who appeared before court for mutilating 14 cats. Go figure. The thing is, i heard (from CNN oh, this is not amebo gist) that the judge decided that the kid is not a danger to himself or his community, and so they let him go. Funny enough, the reporter commented that the people in the neighbourhood are scared of him

Now here's my thing: I am pretty sure (and all those of great knowledge, please confirm/correct me on this one) that it has been proven that children who are cruel to animals usually grow up to be serial killers. Now when i mean cruel, i don't mean you leave your house without kissing your beloved pet goodbye, or you forget the poor little "champion" (as we nigerians like to name our dogs), but you do really random ish, like, for example, mutilate the animal. Now, lets consider that word, mutilate. In plain naija speak, you chopped the thing to pieces. Dont get me wrong, i am not an animal lover (dont like cats, dogs, fish, whatever), so i am not here on some save the animals campaign. But i would say it takes a pretty strong person to mutilate a cat, not to talk of 19 cats, which is what the guy did. Oh well, at least when the next serial killer is on the lose, we know where to look.

2. I mentioned i was working right? Yup, i am doing research. And no, i am not particularly interested in it (as a matter of fact, i always hated lab classes). Just shows what you do to achieve your dream....btw, as this my job, on the first day, as part of orientation, a rat was put on my body. Yes. I said it. PUT ON MY BODY. I lie not. Yes, i was horrified. Had to stand there and let the thing run down my body. Why, you ask? Cuz the director wanted us to get over our fear of the disgusting things. Did i mention this was on the first day?

3. Who in blogsville is attending naija reunion this year? And if anyone has attended in past years, please enlighten me...how was your experience? Cuz i am not about to spend $70 on some party extravaganza when malls still exist.....scheww...

4. More news will come later. Its 1.01pm. In 9 minutes, i have to go collect rat urine, anasthaesize 4 rats (yes, i cannot spell that word), collect their blood, kidney and heart, and do some other random ish. Sorry for disgusting you, i guess i should've put a disclaimer at the beginning huh? :)

Bye Lovelies, more news soon!

Honeywell

True Confession

2009-06-12T19:13:00.002-04:00

As i sit in front of the tv, watching Reba on lifetime, i realise i am struggling with something.
Something that nobody knows, something that i don't understand
Something i feel ashamed for feeling.
I feel........lonely.
Don't know why.
Wierdly, it goes against my very nature.

I have been told i am a very likeable person. A very loveable person.
But i have always found it hard to hold on to friends for a long period of time
Do i have friends? SURE.
But do i have many close friends? i don't think so...
And this is where the feeling ashamed comes in
I feel God has given me sooooooo much..... that i really shouldn't be feeling this way...almost like i'm ungrateful
But i cannot deny that the feeling is there....

Where does this feeling stem from? I dunno....
Maybe its a trend i started noticing when i came to this country
I make friends
We become close
Then we drift
For no apparent reason
Has happened to me 3 times now...
And i cant say it doesn't hurt
It does
It hurts because by nature, i am a friendly person
I love being surrounded by friends
So why does this happen? I don't know

Here i sit
On a couch
On a friday evening
Wanting to go out and do something
Not just sit here
But, at this point, i find myself at a place that i never thought i would be
A place i always feared
I find myself at home
Alone
With no where to go.

Honeywell

PS: After writing this, and signing my name, before i posted this, i realised something. I pray to God for many things.......protection, provision, and other things.... but i realised i have been proud. I have kept this burden to myself all these years, thinking it was something God would be upset about, or feel like i was complaining....but who am I to assume such things? So, finally, with a tear rolling down my cheek, i let it out, and handed it over to God....and instead of being angry, like i thought, He was very compassionate and understanding.....

Aren't balloons supposed to be a source of joy?

2009-04-06T22:50:00.002-04:00

Ok, i promised y'all i would be back with some gist.

I am here today to share with you the story of a friend of mine, a story i still find hilarious till this day.

*Disclaimer*: some part of this gist may appear hapharzardly because i am too tired to remember the story in order. I apologise.

Ok, so here it goes. I need to give y'all some background though.

In this city, there are 2 sets of cliques. One clique comprised of A, B and C. The other clique comprised of D, E and F. This story was told to me by D. A, B and C and cool with D, E and F, but the relationship is wierd as can be (at least from my viewpoint). A, B and C, i hate to say, don't have the best of personalities. They are those type of catty girls you see on tv, the type that will criticize every outfit you wear, would see you wearing something and tell you to your face they rock it better, will gossip and mock you behind your back, you know? We all have met such people in one form or the other. But i do have to say, these ones stand out to me.
But on with the gist.

So, B's birthday was coming up. Keep in mind during this story that the real tight friends are D, E and F. Anyway, D recieves a phone call from C, and see starts of by plainly telling her "Look, B's birthday is on tuesday. I am buying...., A is getting her ...., you are getting the card and balloons (and something else i can't remember). E is getting the teddy bear 9some brand name) and F is getting the ice cream cake". After this, order (cause there was no "please can you get this for her" in that conversation), D was like "oookk".

Anyway, D was majorly broke. like only $5 left in checking account broke. So after finding out that all the things portioned to her to buy for B were waay out of her means, she called C and told her that she cannot get the things, that she'll get the balloons for her, and the card. C, got all catty and upset, calling her pretty much a pauper (but in a "joking" tone, of course), and then tells her that A was already going to come and pick her up, so she should behave herself. So D called A, and told her what was going on, that she can't afford to buy the gifts, and A hissed and laughed and hung up.

Then came tuesday. D was already annoyed at this point. The plan was for them to go to B's house that evening to wish her happy birthday and stuff. D told E and F that she was not going, but they placated her and told her to come along. Meanwhile, some days before, E told C that she checked out the price of the teddy bear, and it costs $45, and she cannot afford to buy that right now. F had gotten the cake. D, E, and F, drove to the mall to get the card that D was specifically told to get. The card cost $10, so D said she wouldn't buy it, that instead she would get the balloons. After calling A, (or C), and telling them that she could not get the card, they insulted her (don't remember what they said then).

Anyway, when they got to B's house, they sang happy birthday and she cut the cake. When D told B happy birthday, B was like 'you sef" in a malicious way, and A was like "is it not this one, don't mind her."

After they left, D was raving mad. A then started calling D, and D didn't pick up. A then left her a voice message, saying that D was a stupid, poor B****, and how can she be so selfish after all what B has done for her (and till this day, i have no clue what B has supposedly done for D), and how she is disgusting, and blah blah blah. She also sent txts to D, talking about how she should pick up the phone, how she'll slap D, and so on.

Strange things we human beings do sometimes

Honeywell~

Jobless at work

2009-04-01T17:10:00.002-04:00

Ok, its been a while since i've been on here, and i don't want to give people like unwritten heart problems, so i decided to update real quick

Pardon my absence, as i said before, thats the consequence of not having internet in your house.

got annoyed with my roomie yday. why,. you ask? well, because she bought a new microwave. no, its not jealousy thats worrying me. The thing is, i feel disrespected.

Ever since we moved into that apartment, she uses only HER stuff... you know, only her own pots, only her own storage bowls, etc... i mean i use mine and hers, but i always wondered kini big deal.. abi are my things not worthy to be used or something? i don't know. anyway, on to the microwave story.

Came back home a couple days ago to see a used black microwave on my countertop. so i'm thinking, "ok, what the heck, what is this doing here?". and so it sat there for days, no explanation as to why there is suddenly another microwave in the house. Plus it was just dumped out of order,blocking off space, and so after waiting for days for the owner to properly set it up and they didn't i annoyingly did.

Which now brings me to yesterday. i was at school when i randomly recieved a txt
"hey, do you still want your microwave?"
and i'm thinking 'what kind of stupid question is that?'
So i replied, saying "yup"
and she replied "ok, i thought so."

And i'm there looking at my phone like ???????
So i get home yesterday night, and lo and behold , the microwave has been plugged in. So i'm thinking ok, was my microwave never good enough for you, and now that your bf has finally gotten you one from somewhere, you are relieved you no longer have to use mine? and i say this because she has always been irked that the microwave has the turntable missing (was broken before i moved in with her).

I dunno.. I'm probably just overreacting..... on the other hand, why in the world do we need 2 MICROWAVES??????

Hopefully, when school calms down, i can gist y'all about my new man (well, not really my man, i don't like labels remember?), my ex (yeah, the last guy i posted about is my ex), some old flames who have randomly popped back into my life, and the story about a friend of mine who was thoroughly insulted because she did not buy some chick ballooons for her birthday.

Crazy times, i tell you.

Honeywell~

Omo i've been tagged

2009-02-09T22:29:00.004-05:00

Ok, i was tagged by the lovely incognaija... so here goes..

BTW, if i tag you to this, better do it or else! :P

Where's ur cell phone?

Right beside me, as always :0)

Where's ur significant other?

Don't have one as of right now... but working on it ;). Btw, let me use this opportunity to thank all those who lovingly left me advice on my last post... may God bless you.... i'm definitely over that chapter of my life, and i am currently working on the next one. Hopefully the gist about the new guy will come soon.....

Your hair colour?

Brown, suprisingly... and i mean i slightly light shade of brown, and no, its not due to l'oreal expression or anything like that.... just randomly woke up one day and noticed my hair was really brown.... i hypothesize thats its due to the large variety of brand name hair relaxers used on me wwhile growing up... but its all good..

Your mother?

Is God sent.....don't know what i'd do if i didn't have her... may God bless her in everyway possible...

Your father?

Is my father, and i love him and i am grateful to God for his presence..

Your favorite things:

Of the top of my head: my mother (yes, i am placing her here, even though she is not a thing! but lemme stick to the rules now), my home, my phone, my clothes!

Your dream last night?

Didn't have one

Your dream goal?

Becoming a doctor and becoming the woman God ordained me to be...

The room you're in?

The school library! U forget say i no get internet for my house! And lets not even go there...

Your hobby?

Dancing!!!!! ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MINE! Swimming used to be one of my hobbies, but when consciousness about my hair set in, swimming was out....

where u wanna be in six years?

Wherever God wants me to be... after all, i can dream and dream, but God's dreams are always waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay grander and a lot better, so i decided to roll with His dreams for me.... since His ways are waaaaaaaaaaay higher than mine, whatever i plan will be like sand compared to his marvelous will for me.... you dig?

Where were you last night?

My house, making peppersoup and indomie at the same time...

What you're not?

Untrustworthy

One of your wish list items:

To become a doctor!

Where you grew up?

LAS-GIDI BABY!

Last thing you did?

Pop some lame candy called love hearts in my mouth... mehn i'm hungry....

What are you wearing?

White slippers, dark jeans, brown tshirt and Khaki jacket with silver earrings

Your pet:

HAVE NONE! And i am still trying to get a gun to shoot the stray cats around my house.

Your computer?

Is a toshiba and its extremely slow.... don't know what to do... i've tried everything from cleaning the registry to freeing up about 14G space to clearing spyware and such....

Your mood:

HUNGRY!

Your car?

Is a blessing from God that shows when you dream, God brings it forth, and does beyond what you could ever dream or imagine...

Something you're not wearing?

A necklace?

Favorite store?

Don't have one, to be honest... different stores cater to my different needs....

Your summer?

Had a blast in MD!

Love someone?

God (as you can tell by now), myself (sometimes a bit too much, i think). and my mother.

Your favorite colour?

Always changes! I gbadu the people who have the committment power to stick to one!

Last time you laughed?

Yesterday, my friend came over while i was cooking and was displaying her madness as usual..

Last time you cried?

Maybe a week or 2 ago... wasn't like a flood or anything.. one or two drops...

Are you a bitch?

First of all, i really hate that word. However, to be honest, i have been told i have such tendencies... but let me stress that I REALLY HATE THAT WORD!

Favorite pastime:

Chilling with good friends...

Hater or lover:

Depends on what you mean... do i hate on people? no.... do i love a lot of people? no.... so you see, whoever made this needs to be clearer!

Genuine or fake:

Lets be real here... i can be both. And don't look at the screen like that! I can give you a simple example to show that the same applies to you: the last time you went to buy coffee/gum/groceries/insert purchase here, and the cashier asked how you where doing and you smiled and said good and the person struck up conversation with you and you pretended to be listening with all smiles.... get my drift?

Any vices?

hmm....lemme think about that..

Pro life or wire hanger:

I'm not answering this question, cuz its complicated...

Mccain or Obama:

Honestly? Neither.

Pro-plastic or natural:

Natural all the way oh! In my opinion, most women that have plastic surgery usually end up looking wierder than they did when they first had it....especially if its on the face...

Dream job?

How many times will i say this? TO BE A DOCTOR!

Omo this thing took longer than i expected... ok i tag solomosydelle, naijadramaqueen,bumight,charizard, and last but definitely not least, the love of my life, Uniwritten!

Confusion

2009-01-27T21:24:00.002-05:00

You came into my life when i least expected it
And very different from any other guy i had met or was interested in in everyway
We became friends first, the lovers
Only time knows when that line was crossed
From feelings of care to feelings of love
Oh i fought long and hard
I had been through a lot the last year
But you hung in there
And after 4 months, i Finally gave in.
We were dating.

Then things started going south
Sure, we had always had fights
But they were becoming more frequent
And hurt a lot more
You couldn't handle when i did something wrong
I couldn't handle you when you got all mean and angry when i did something wrong
We fought
Almost broke up twice
But i guess back then what held us together was stronger than what pulled us apart.
And so we fought just before i left the country
And made up
Everyday i would talk to you over facebook while i was away
I would call just to hear your voice
Everyone i knew was so suprised because all i could talk about was you
That never happened to me before.

Then i came back
So anxious to see you
So anxious to be with you
But was i in for a suprise
You were....different
Couldn't explain it if it killed me
Just didn't do the things you used to i guess
Less tolerant too.
We fought 2 days after i got back
A fight that tore my heart
We made up kinda, but you decided that we needed to take a break in order for US to work
I was so against it
I knew it was the beginning of the end
And i couldn't understand why a guy that supposedly had so much love for me couldn't handle the simple things that happen in relationships
Or am i wrong? Are we the only couple that fight?
Anyway, after much ado, i agreed to your scheme
We were on a break

But then you kept acting like we were together
And it was confusing me
Cuz in my world, if you are on a break, you are single
Then i started feeling neglected
Work, friends, everything was taking you away from me
And so i broke down and sent you some ugly texts
And the next day, after my ordeal with the police, you tell me that you can't do it anymore
You tell me that you have finally accepted that it won't work
I try to talk sense into you
Why break up over a text?
But you were adamant
I remember the conversation.....

"My gut instinct right now is telling me to just forget about the whole thing and let it go"
"Do that then!"

And so it ended.
Been almost a week
Was fine the day after
And a couple days after that
Then you start sending me mixed signals again
You poke my waist at a meeting
You purposely bump into me at a friend's house
Both gestures i ignored
You sent me text messages to find out what was going on with the police
And to find out how i was doing

Why do you care?
After all, you're the one that said you couldn't do it anymore.
So what's the problem?
Then i decide to ask you how you are doing
And you don't respond
Its getting me annoyed
YOU don't need to check up on me and see how i'm doing
I'm just fine
You don't need to act like you care outta guilt
Thats cool too
But i'm through playing games with you
Its hurting me.

I can't even be friends with you right now
Because i don't trust you
I don't understand how something so good could go so sour so fast
I don't understand how someone that claims to love me the way you do could treat me like this
All over A TEXT MESSAGE

Nawa oh

2008-12-10T18:23:00.003-05:00

Ok, first of all, i know i owe a lot of people a lot of explanations.... after all, i have been off blogspot FOR 5 MONTHS!! (or is it 4? whatever sha)

First of, THAT IS WHY IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE INTERNET IN YOUR HOUSE. Yes oh, i am sad to say, in this day and age, i don't have internet in my house. Haven't had since i moved in august. I must say i kinda got used to it. So, whenever i was on campus on the computers, it had to be for business. Hence me absence.

Ok, so some will say "so why couldn't you post just a little bitty something when you got the chance?" The answer is: NO TIME!!!! Honestly. From studying for my MCATS and trying to keep up with schoolwork and boy wahala, omo, a girl is kept rather busy.

A lot happened over the past couple months. I fled with some friends when gustav hit (nothing was damaged in my house though). I lost friends, kept some friends, and all in all i discovered a lot about myself. I got a new boo (who i'm angry at right now), though it kinda took us 4 months to get together( which was my fault, i kinda have a fear for the label "girlfriend". I still have it. But i realised it was either i lose him and keep my fabulous single life, or keep a really good guy. Logic won, even though, i must say, i still hate the label, and miss my single life).

Did a lot of unecessary shopping, planned a friend's birthday party, attended a bunch of parties, almost had a fight at one party because my guy friend (see how i hate the word boyfriend?) almost knocked out this one guy who kept wanting to grind on me (we weren't dating then)

I mean i can go on and on, but i am actually waiting for someone and wondering why she hasn't called me yet. I'm still mad at my guy friend, and i'm also wondering why it now wants to snow in this little town were it hasn't rained FOR OVER 70 YEARS. NO JOKE.

Uh oh, she's calling me already. So i guess i have to save the story of when a black cat got into my house and under my bed at 2am for another day. Did i mention i severely hate cats? Anyway, i have to go, going shopping for some people BECAUSE I AM GOING HOME! YES PEOPLE, I AM GOING TO NIGERIA! AND ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME TOO!

bye lovelies
Honeywell

BACK!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-08T13:05:00.002-04:00

Mehn, i just realised that it has been a long minute since i've been here oh....... I'm actually in between writing an exam,but what the heck? I need stress relief :)

I never thought i could be away from blogsville this long.. i guess thats how much of a geek i am:) i intend on passing this exam, come rain or shine! So, due my dedication, my time on blogsville has faltered :( Hopefully it'll pick up soon......

Anyhoo, quick gist, cuz i have to go and continue
1. i decided not to date the guy (check out previous posts). Funny enough, as soon as i made that decision, i no longer liked him. Strange huh? Maybe he was just entertainment for me, something to think about.

2. Hmm, i heard on Fox today that Russia has declared war on the US oh! I am just praying that that was just overexxageration on Fox's part, if not, biko, the minute i see one wierd airplane, i am buying a one way ticket back to naija! No be by force abeg.

3. Dark night was SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was wondering what all the noise about heath ledger's death was back then, i never thought he was an amazing actor, but he sure changed my mind after this movie! He was scarily on point. I even heard that some people think he killed himself because he got to involved with the role. Can't blame him.

4. I entered another love triangle again. I'll update soon (hopefully) cuz i have to go and finish my exam. Bye luvies!

Praise in the early hours

2008-07-24T08:17:00.003-04:00

My Heavenly Father
Who is like You?
There is no one.
No one can even be COMPARED to you
For you are the one true GOD
Maker of the Heaven and Earth.

Man may deny your existence
Rationalize it
Analyze it
Ask for proof.
But do you know why i like you, God?
You don't bother with it
You are too great to have to convince the heart of man that you exist
Those who TRULY want to know that you exist, will get the priviledge of meeting you
But those who question your existence out of scorn and arrogance, you look at with pity

The same Man who denies your existence
Struggles to understand YOUR creation
Seems almost paradoxical
What you created within seconds
Has taken man MANY CENTURIES to PARTIALLY UNDERSTAND
The complexities of the human body alone
Took you ONE BREATH to create
But has taken man YEARS UPON YEARS to understand
And even the little understanding gained is theoretical, not practical
That is just one example of your greatness

You Command the Sun to rise and set
You tell the birds just when to start their tireless rendition
You even gave each specie of bird a particular song
So none feels left out of the Earth's orchestra
The Oceans cry out to you
The Earth shakes at your will
Yet with all your power
You give man free will
When you could easily, with the mere flick of an eyelash
Command man to love you
You choose to let him be
THAT is true love

Who is like you God?
There is no one
NO ONE.
You are faithful, even when i am unfaithful
When i am at my lowest
You reach out and pull me up
Time and time again i cry out to you
And there you are
Right there
Like you never left
But you did say "I will never leave nor forsake you"

I publicly declare that I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
There is no amount of wealth, fame, achievement, or success
That can make up for what you have done for me in my life
How you protect me and my family
And provide not only financially, but emotionally
Even on this road to success, my hands get weary
My feet become sluggish
And my heart begins to decrease its efforts
You remind me to take in a deep breath
And look up
And there you are
Smiling down on me
And you give me the strength i need to move on

I am so grateful i have you in my life
Where man achieves due to human connection
I will achieve greater because i have the DIVINE CONNECTION
As long as i live
I pray that my life will be one that brings you praise, not sorrow
Brings you joy, not sadness
Even as i slip from time to time
I ask your forgiveness, my Father
My heart is filled with joy this morning
Because in you Father, i have promises
In you Father, I have hope
In you Father, i am made Whole
You are my ROCK
MY SHELTER
My refuge

I wish i were eloquent enough to give you the praise you so rightly deserve,
My Father
But even more
I pray MY LIFE gives you the praise you so rightly deserve
For EVERYTHING you have done for me
And that which you are yet to do,
I say
THANK YOU.

"I look up to the hills.
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth"

The verdict

2008-07-20T23:02:00.003-04:00

Pardon me, but for some reason thats the only title i could come up with.
School ish has me so busy i can't even do my blog rounds anymore :(. I try so hard to keep up, but school's a monster! Oh well, soon, it'll all be over.

I just wanted to touch on a 2 incidents that have been on my mind lately.

First of all, its my housing situation. My brothers graduated last semester and moved out of our apartment, so i had to find a new place to stay. To help my parents save money, i decided to move in with a friend that i knew had trouble meeting her rent and other bills sometimes. But i figured wth, at least it would be an experience. We got the apartment and moved in late may, and shortly after i left for MD for the summer.
Things were going fine. I sent my share of the rent a week before it was due, and she paid the rent. Last monday or tuesday, however, i recieved an alarming phone call. Ms D, who is the manager of the apartment complex, called me to tell me that she has been trying to reach my roomate, and that if our rent is not paid by 3pm that afternoon, she was going to go downtown and file for eviction, and in a couple days, my things will be out on the street. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
I immediately tried calling the girl, but it was going straight to voicemail. I then proceeded to call a friend of mine, and after shouting on the poor soul, managed to reach my roomate. Thankfully, she got things sorted out. Apparently her mom did not send her rent money when she said she would, and so when she went to give the check, she didn't know that it was only my share that was in her account, and so the check bounced without her knowing. While i am happy the situation is diffused, i'm annoyed because i wanted to use the rent to build some credit, and now thats not working out. So, as far as i am concerned, the kid gloves are off. I took the nice approach, seeing as i know that she is dependent on her parents to send her rent. But seeing as doing nicey nice has got me no where, i am now reverting to bitch mode. :). Its simple really. I have never believed in mixing friendship with business. Now, i am simply eliminating the friendship aspect to get what i need done DONE. Call me cold, but hell, as least the rent will get paid. She was also supposed to call me after to explain exactly what went down, and how this situation happened since last tuesday, but she never did. She claims she never got my messages either. She didnt tell me anything TILL I CALLED HER THIS EVENING AND ASKED HER WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON. So, i simply told her, as nicely as i can, that i don't want this situation to repeat itself, so if her mom has not called her back by this friday about the rent, she should call her mom. This nonsense must not repeat itself.

On another note, i'm going to talk about a guy, whom i'll call M for now. M and i met in may, in a wierd way. I was going with my friend and her family for a graduation ceremony in another state, and M was my friend's cousin that came down from another town. To cut a long story short, he developed feelings for me, which i did not reciprocate at first. Then, when i started reciprocating, he got this offshore engineering job, which will keep him away for weeks on end, and also expect him to come in to work at any given point in time. What i mean is, if he's in town today, he can literally be called up right now to go offshore and he might be back tomorrow, or he might be back mid august. Yeah, that kinda thing. He asked me out in several ways, and i turned him down in several ways. At some point, the emotional frustration was too much, and so when i called him to tell him we should just be friends, he actually ended up telling me first that he wanted us to be friends, seeing as he won't have time to devote to me as he would like, or something like that. I was relieved and sad at the same time, but i felt i was not ready to deal with such an emotionally drenching situation. So for the last 2 weeks, outta sight has been outta mind. But over the past couple days, the situation changed. I find myself purposely conjuring up situations involving me and him out to dinner, or just chilling and watching tv, stuff like that. The thing is, i haven't seen the dude since may. Another thing is, when i head back south, there is a high possibilty we might meet. And even when i go back to school, seeing as we are in the same town and he is my friend's cousin, that increases the chances of us meeting even more. The thing is, i don't know how much i like him, or if i really want to put myself in the situation of dating him and dealing with all the issues his job comes with. While i am pretty sure i am averse to dating him because of his job, i wonder if i am making a mistake. Hmm.

HELP PEOPLE!

Random ish

2008-07-08T11:58:00.002-04:00

This is just going to be a bunch of stuff spewing from my brain, so bear with me.

Thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday! I basically moped for most of the day, and then a friend threw me a suprise birthday party! All in all it was ok. I did want to do some kind of blogsville mixer, but i was too busy to plan one :( HOWEVER, i am still interested in one, i'm just to lazy to plan one. So if anyone aka unwritten as any ideas, HIT ME UP!

I heard the other day on the news that this one male nurse is being sued because of indecent behavior. Whats the indecent behavior, you ask? Well, i'll tell you. He was in charge of this woman who was conscious but could not move any part of her body and could not talk right? So what does he do? He fondles her, and forces her to fondle his male genitalia. Like really though, is he THAT desperate to get some action?

I attended the Nigerian Entertainment awards a couple weeks back. Was FABULOUS! However, i have made a note to myself: NEVER LIVE IN NYC! gosh! the metro there (especially after being spoilt by the clean D.C. metro) is the most disgusting thing i have ever been in. Yuk. I wouldn't mind visiting the city, but the hustle and bustle is too much for me to cope with everyday (which suprises me, seeing as i am a lagos girl and all).
Anyway, something strange happened when i was there. Allow me to randomly interject the fact that i met OLU JACOBS! ok, back to my point. So, i was only supposed to go with these 2 other girls right? So one old friend of mine had told me earlier that she was coming. We used to be really tight before, but i am sorry to say that the babe has more issues than a transvestite. Basically, we don't talk much anymore. She had randomly called me earlier that week to tell me that she wanted to come but has no place to stay. Apparently she found someplace to stay. On friday, when i got to NYC, i found out that online ticket sales end at 5.00pm, and i wasn't sure they were selling tickets at the door. When i called her to tell her, she begged me to help her get her ticket, saying she would pay me back. I agreed.

Another problem arose: she didn't know how she would get to the event. Plus, some of her friends from her school were also coming down and had no clue where to stay ot how to get there. So me now, being Captain Save The World, took all their wahala (trouble) on my shoulders. I arranged for them to come and meet me in my friend's sisters place in manhattan. I helped the girl shop, to the point where i didn't get anything i needed for the show. As we were shopping, we happened upon a capital one atm, where i told her to withdraw the money shoe owed me ($30). She with drew $40, and gave me. I used part of it to get sturvz from BK for us to eat. Then, later, after the show, around 2am, we were looking for where to eat, (5 of us), and she kept bothering me about money, saying i owed her oney. Now, if i used $14 to get us food out of the $40, it means i don't owe you any money, right? But at that point in time, i was too worried about how one of my friends would get back home (she stayed in brooklyn) to start disturbing myself about someone's money. So sha, i got back to my side on sunday.

The following tuesday, she sends me this text saying "its funny how you never paid me my money after i asked you severally. Hmm." I'm like are you kidding me? I'm in MD, she's in upstate NY. I was like ok, send me your account number, bank name and routing number and i will send your money. Then she starts to argue with me how i owe her $15 THE WHOLE DAMN DAY. In the evening, i was like look, this makes no sense. Even though i know i don't owe you $15, i'll just give you anyway, cuz i can't be dragging that kind of amount with someone. Then she sends me a message saying "yeah, i didn't think you'd drag shit too." At that point, i'm like OH HELL NO. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BRAINLESS FOOL? I called my friend and she calmed me down, but i should have known not to even help the girl in the first place. This is the same girl i talked about in a post long ago, the girl who kep malice with mr for 3 months, only for her to come and tell me that she doesn't remember why she was mad at me. Once a screwed nutcase, always a screwed nutcase :)

I also went for the naija reunion in baltimore. Apparently the dude i stayed with has been having the hots for me for 3 years, and decided to tell me (i kinda knew though). In his words, "i won't rest until i get you." i wish him luck :). Oh yeah, and the party on saturday was FUN

Lastly, the one dude i talked about, who works offshore? i decided that we should just remain friends, at least for now. I hope all my lovelies on here are doing well (mehn its about time i do some rounds). Have a beautiful week everyone!

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

2008-06-30T00:30:00.002-04:00

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now i'm off to sleep. :)

Thanks to all of you who wished me happy birthday! Y'all are too much, and i love you to pieces!!!!!

Everyone who wants a piece of the cake, let me know :)

Sorry i haven't been on here to update, but school does not want me to breath. Sha there is gist coming, so be prepared!

To all those that gave me advice concerning the guy, thanks so much! Right now he is away, so i'll wait till he comes back to talk to him about it. I wanted to cut him off, but he was like he'd rather we remain friends, that way, i am still in his life somehow, that he'd rather have me as a friend than not have me at all. He also said a bunch of other stuff i won't say on here :) what can i say? i miss him.

Oh well. Have a great week lovelies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

My Birthday sturvz

2008-06-24T19:55:00.003-04:00

Ok, i know many questions have been asked about my birthday. Thing is, because i went for the Nigerian Entertainment awards, i am kinda broke :). But i really am touched that so many people would've come anyway (big ups to JT and Unwritten amongst others) if i did do something. Thing is, i've barely had time to think, which is why i seem to be awol on blogsville most of the time. Anyhoo, there was no time to really plan for something, but thanks who all who were interested! We can still plan something though, and if anyone is interested, just let me know and i will give you my email address.

Thanks to all those who wished me well! What will i do without all you lovelies? :)
Oh my birthday is next monday, June 30th.

PS: ok, MAN ALERT. I need y'alls help. Hypothetical situation: If you are a guy really complement each other aka you like each other a lot and the compatibility is there, but he works offshore and will be away 6 weeks at a time and you won't be able to communicate with him for those 6 weeks he is offshore, but will be onshore in the same city as you for 2 weeks after that (and the cycle is like that: see him for 2 weeks, don't see him for 6 weeks), would you still date him?

I have to cut this short because my class has continued and i am still here typing away on blogsville :) have a blessed week y'all! More juicy details about my weekend in NY coming soon to a cmoputer/laptop/macbook air/ whatever the heck you please near you!

My Birthday is a' coming!!!!!!

2008-06-13T12:43:00.002-04:00

Ok, while i was on the train yesterday to D.C., i had this radical idea.

You see, my birthday is coming up in about 2 weeks. Honestly, i had no intention on doing anything (frankly, i am too lazy to care at this point). However, i thought about something:

Why not arrange a dinner to celebrate my birthday AND INVITE ALL THE BLOGSVILLE PEEPS IN THE AREA?

Now, i am not sure i am going to go through with this, but i thought, what the heck, why not throw it out there?

So awon unwritten and the rest of them blogsville peeps in the MD, D.C., NY AND NJ area, hit me up!

Meanwhile, in other news, i had some other interesting thoughts on the train (my train trip is always so long, it demands one to become a philosophical thinker in order to survive the trip). I was on my way back from D.C. when these obnoxious little brats got on the train. One black boy, probably about the age of 10 or 12, and the other somewhere under the age of 10. They were loud and lousy, talking at the top of their voices to each other even though they were right next to each other, and using a lot of foul language. I looked around me, and i noticed i was not the only one irritated by the brats. At one point, while the train was still moving, the older boy started doing pull ups with the poles in the train. At that point, i was like where the heck are these kids parents? then my next thought was "Oh lord, if i have to stay in this country, my kids will go to nigeria for secondary school. i don't think i want to bring them up in this society."

Now, i am not saying that the nigerian society is any better. With no job, no electricity, the corruption, why would i want my child to grow up there, you ask? Well, call me naive, but i rather my child suffer problems OUTSIDE themselves than problems within. What do i mean by that? Well, i 'd rather my child worry about whether he will get a job due to lack of job opportunities rather than the fact that he is black. No, don't give me that look. Subtle racism still exists in this country. For example, why does it take a white person a regular bachelor's degree to get a job, while a black person has to have probably some master's or associate degree IN ADDITION to his bachelor's TO LAND THE SAME FRIGGIN JOB?

Anyway, back to my story. The boys finally got off at some point. Then my attention went to this black woman. She took off her slippers, placed her leg on the pole that people usually hold on to while they stand in the metro, and proceeded to rub cream on her feet. For some reason, i felt awkward watching that. I am a snob or something? I just felt like that was inappropriate for the venue. Like really. But i immediately felt a rush of shame. I mean, why is it that whatever the black people do is always "razz" or "ghetto" or "unsophisticated"? Sophistication is a relative term. For example, in a certain country (i've forgotten the name), it is considered disrespectful to the household if you don't belch after eating. In this country, it would be considered rude and unsophisticated to belch at the table. So you see, what if, for lack of better word, "the white way" was considered wrong? What if it was considered rude to be quiet in public places, and the right way of things was to be loud and gregarious? What if everything we thought was wrong with the African American society today, in terms of behavior e.g sagging pants, was actually the right way? Think about that......

Anyway, peeps, don't forget to hit me up, and have a great weekend!!! Update about the new dude in my life coming soon! :D

I'm back!

2008-06-06T14:18:00.003-04:00

Goodness, i can' t believe i haven't been here in so long!!!!

what have i missed? oya everyone who has gist, report here ASAP!!!!!

I saw all the wishes for my finals.... may God bless all of you oh! It went well, we thank God...... Had to pop into houston briefly after that... stress relief you know ;)

It has been a wild couple of weeks... my parents came and left.... in all their glory
My brother graduated (yippee!)
All the mad parties and such, and saying goodbyhe to my friends because i was leaving for the summer...

A wierd thing has been going on though. Or maybe not wierd, but slightly disturbing to me, for some reason.
Ok, so my friend asked me to come with her to houston. We left right after our last finals, and piled into her brother's car with 5 other people (Lord have mercy, a 4 hour journey with 7 people). It was fun. I was ever ready with nigerian movies for our viewing pleasure.
Before we left though, i went to my friend's house, and saw this dude but never bothered saying hey or anything like that. Then, on saturday night, after all the festivities of the day and such, we started gisting at like 2am (thank God my friend's mum didnt see us, she's rather strict).

Since then, we talk on and off, but i don't even really understand whats going on. Ok, so i sorta like him, but apparently its much deeper on his side. Yesterday night i was talking to him when he told me about his new job. You see, he's moving to the town i'm in, but only for 2 months. Right now, i am in MD, and so i won't even see him, and by the time i get back, he'll be moving to texas for 5 months. So the dude starts talking about how he'd understand if i didn't wait and blah blah blah. Now, to be very honest, i never even thought that far. Sure, i kinda like him, but i don't know to what extent yet. I know though that if i really liked him, i'd be willing to wait (after all, i am skilled in long distance sturvs). What got me though was when he said that it would hurt his feelings, but he would rather i be happy, whether its with him or someone else. For me though, things have moved a little to quickly for me. I never thought of my self with him like that. He is just a friend i happen to like. So i am kinda apprehensive, but i guess we'll see how things go. Moving on.....

My old friend from nigeria came over to MD!!! Gosh, i haven't seen this babe in 3 years! You'd think things would be awkward, seeing as i barely had to call her and such over the years.. but it was nothing like that! we just picked up were we left off..... reminiscing about runs to sturvs like rythm unplugged, silverbird, etc. I evev remember this one time we went there and just chilled (i dont think we ever went there and actually watched a movie). We were in that bookstore place (can't remember the name, i think its nu metro) and just chilled. Then this wierd, unkept looking guy walked up to us and started yarning some kind things. To be very honest, the dude kinda scared me. We kept on giving hints that we wanted to walk away by saying things like "we have to go now", but the dude kept on talking like we never said anything. Then, NEPA or PC whatever they are calling themselves struck and took the light. So we were stuck with this wierd dude in the dark. My friend kept nudging my painfully indicating that we should leave, but i was holding a book about pregnancy that i got from a stand right next to me (don't ask me why i was holding a book about pregnancy). For some reason, my brain was more preoccupied about returning the book to its rightful place than in escaping before the wierd dude did something. I was also afraid that in escaping, we would knock him or some kind of book stand over. Then, when i finally gave up and dropped the book on the floor, the dude suddenly spoke and said "i hope you guys are not trying to run away from me" in the pitch darkness. At that moment, i was scared stiff. Luckily, the light came back on. I feigned a phone call from an imaginary friend that had come to pick us up, and thats how we escaped.

I took her round DC. It was so much fun! We went into a lot of museums (i'll put up pics if i can). Can you imagine, in the art museum, there was thing one "painting" that looked like the thing my baby cousin did yesterday. I was to pieces of wood, one painted blue, and the other painted white. Biko, can't any human being go to home depot, by the plywood and paint and do that at home? Here's a photo of what i am talking about:

Meanwhile, someone has made possibly thousands off that. Oh well, i will try not to hate. We also went to the african history museum, were i was shocked to tears to see a sculpture made out of the bottoms of peak and three crowns evaporated milk cans. If you want to see it, the museum is on independence ave, near the smithsonian castle, and its in the el anatsiu exhibit.

Unfortunately, when we got to georgetown, it started raining cats and dogs, so we decided to head home. All in all, a fun day!

So who can volunteer to show me how y'all have fun up here? Let me see if y'all can do it the way we do down south! :D LOL have a great weekend y'all. Muahz!!!!!

Tagged

2008-05-20T21:42:00.003-04:00

Ok, so i was bullied by unwritten into update :) ( you know i luuuuuuuuuuuuuurve you). Anyhoo, i decided to yarn a lil bit, starting with the meme shalewa tagged me to a couple weeks ago.

The rules:
1. Link the person(S) who tagged you to this post:Shalewa
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

1. I love cleaning my ears. The feel of q tips in my ears soothe me. I actually looks forward to it sometimes.

2. I don't like people in my room that much. I don't like when people enter my room without telling me. It makes me feel violated. I guess i am just really protective over my territory. Just the thought of someone entering my room without telling me, even if they didn't take anything, makes me mad.

3. I enjoy driving on campus and blasting naija songs like gongo aso, just see the shocked looks on people's faces.

4. I don't know if i'd call this a quirk, but i thought i'd add it anyway.I rarely miss people. Now, its not like i don't miss my friends and stuff, but when i here other females talk about how they miss their friends and family, i just don't feel that intensity. Sure, i'd like to see some of my friends, but not that bad. But oh well.

5. I don't like teddy bears. Now, i think they make a cute gift and all, but i just don't know what to do with them. I have 3, none of which i bought. Half the time they are on the floor, and the other half they are pushed to one end of my bed. I just don't see how hugging a bear helps me sleep (well actually, it helped me once when i had a tummy ache, but hugging my bible has the same effect).

6. When i was in high school, my skin got very reactive in the sense that if someone would touch me, my skin would swell up and i would have this horrible burning sensation. My mom and i tried all sorts of things, but nothing helped it. After being that way for over 5 years, i finally went to see a doctor. After examining me, he asked my mom a series of questions. He asked her what kind of sponges and soaps she used on me when i was younger, and she responded. Finally, the doctor said "Madam, due to the harsh disinfectant soaps you used on your daughter when she was young (e.g dettol) and the aggressive scrubbing with hard sponges, the natural protective barrier on her skin has worn off, which is why she is having such reactions." So, thanks to my mom's desire for me to be clean, i could only use baby soap for 3 years. Thanks mom.

Ok, i'm done. I hereby tag unwritten, folayemi, bumight, ladi, lg and charizard.

I'll blog about my finals and last weekend soon :) See y'all soon!

PS: Imma be in the MD area, so all my peeps over there, STAND UP!

Incest Anyone?

2008-05-07T23:01:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the gross title, but thats what came to my mind. I have finals coming up, as most people do, and thats why i have been off for a while. I miss all my lovies on here! *sniff* (i don't know why i am sniffing oh, i am not the cry cry sort. but i digress)

Imma keep this short and sweet. Please give me your opinions on the following news items(which i am sure y'all have heard)

1. Man in Austria found to have kept daughter imprisoned in basement for 24 years, and fathered 7 children with her. Wife did not know of such activities.

2. People, i had actually posted something else entirely different here, but something just happened to me literally 2 mins ago, and my first thought was: I HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH MY BLOGSVILLE PEEPS!!! so i got up, turned on my laptop, and here i am.

So here the story goes: I was talking to my friend about some african american dude and then my phone started buzzing. At first i thought it was a former crush of mine (explanation will follow another day), but then i saw it was a nigerian number. So i told my friend to hold on and then i looked at the number. I did not recognise it, and it was an econet number

12.15am.

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hello.

silence

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hello, how are you?

Me: I am fine.

*silence*

Caller: How are you?

Me: I am fine. I am sorry, i don't know who this is.

Caller: You don't know who this is? Ok, this is felix

Me: Felix?

Caller: Yes, felix

Me: I am sorry, i don't know who this is

(meanwhile, i am trying to figure out if my mom has given another pastor my number to call me in the middle of the night and pray. i will also want to talk about that another day)

Caller: Eh? ok. When are you coming back? (to nigeria)

*Silence*

Me: I am sorry, i don't know this is, so i cannot share that information with you

*Silence*

Caller: Don't worry. I know you are not married and i like you very much

*silence*

Caller: So how is everybody

At this point, i promptly cut the line, because i did not understand what was going on. I still don't.

Shalewa hon, i will respond to your tag soon, by the grace of God . Hope you are doing good!

As for all other homies on blogsville, have a fantastic weekend (it is almost here!!!) and those who have exams, GOODLUCK, GOD WILL SEE US THROUGH!!!!! :)

BITE ME!

2008-04-25T13:50:00.003-04:00

Ok, i went on Ladi's page, and the first thing i saw was BITE ME and this threw me back a lil....

I watched this 2 years ago. Its Steve Harvey during gospel fest. I AM BEGGING YOU, WATCH THIS TO THE END, OR AT LEAST THE LAST 4 MINS!!! ITS ONLY ABOU 9 MINS LONG. I PROMISE YOU, YOU'LL LAUGH SO HARD, IT'LL MAKE YOUR DAY!

Meanwhile, thanks for all the feedback about El Creepo (see previous post). I just love y'all to death! Have an awesome weekend!!!!

Love, Honeywell (why on God green earth did i pick the name honeywell????)

The Forbidden Kingdom

2008-04-21T18:34:00.002-04:00

I have finally found some 5 mins to myself so i can blog. Sorry for not updating for so long, y'all know how college life can get! With crunch time coming, i am thankful, because i know the Lord is my strength.

What do i want to blog about? The shortest tale i can think of right now: My experience last friday.

So, on saturday april 12th, I and some othe girls threw a suprise birthday party for a friend of mine. Unfortunately, people kept going "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSH!!" so much that she heard us from downstairs when she got to the house with her bf. Don't you just love africans.

Anyhoo, it was nice, until the police came :( After they came the first time, we continued... Until they came back and threatened arrest.... i found my square root sharply after that.

The next day, i was chilling with a friend after work. Her name is mimi for now. We had the sudden urge to go out to eat, and she wanted to go to Olive Garden (which i am not too keen on, personally). So she called up this guy and we arranged to go. The dude, whom i will call Joseph, said he would bring a friend. Cool.

When he came to pick us up, i swooned as per usual. You see, i am in love with the 2007 abi 2008 toyota camry. But i digress. We got to the restaurant, and i realised that his friend looked familiar to me, but i couldn't place the face. Dinner was nice, and the night ended.

On tuesday last week, mimi calls me and tells me that Joseph has been bugging her because his friend, whom i will call Danjuma has been asking if i have a bf. At that minute, my phone started ringing, so i told her i would call her back. So i picked up the phone.

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, is this honeywell?
Me: Yes, who is this please?
Caller: *laughing*
Don't you recognise my voice?
Me: No..... *If i did, i wouldn't be asing questions now would i?*
Caller: Are you sure?
Me: Please who is this
Caller: *Laughing* ok ok, this is the police. There was an incident reported last saturday, and we need you to come down to the station
Me: Ok, seriously, who is this
Caller: *laughing hysterically* ok ok this is danjuma.

To say i was irritated is an understatement.
I didn't talk to him for long, and then i dropped the phone. After that day, we would text back and forth, no big deal. Then on wednesday, he starts sending me texts asking if we talk. I told him no, because i was at work, plus i had a lot of school work. He then sends me this text asking me if we could hang out that night. It was 9pm. I lost service, so i didn't reply.
When i got home at 10pm, he called me, and said he was on his way to my house. I thought he was joking , but he was serious. Please, is it wrong for me to think it inappropriate on his part for him to think that i would follow him to his house, A GUY I BARELY KNOW?????
I mean, over the past couple days, i had only sent him 5 texts, most of which said nothing tangible. Maybe i am just old fashioned (wow, old fashioned at my young age).
Anyhoo, i told him i can't go anywhere because i have a paper to finish. Then he starts getting mad and starts whining about how he was already on his way and stuff. Biko (please), how is that my problem? Did i ask you to come? I apologised as calmly as i could, but explained to him that it was his fault because i never replied his text or told him he could come. That one ended.

Then on friday, The forbidden kingdom came out in theatres. You know, the movie with Jackie Chan and Jet li? Anyway, mimi wanted me to go and see it with her. So after work, we went with danjuma. Joseph met us there. After getting some coffee (i was dead tired, it was 10pm), we walked into the movie theatre. It was packed. Mimi and joseph sat 2 rows behind me, and danjuma and i sat down together. As the movie started, i got comfy and munched on my cheesecake. The movie was funny, and i was soon laughing my tiredness away. I then noticed that danjuma had lifted up the cup holder seperating both seats. I thought nothing of it, assuming he was uncomfortable. We continued watching the movie. All of a sudden, his arm goes round my shoulder and he forces me close to him. I turned in shock, and he gave me this leery look. I honestly was about to puke up my cheesecake. I pulled away and leaned away from him, even though his arm was still around my shoulder.

Then, after some minutes, i feel his fingers stroking me. I immediately got the sensation i dare say women feel when they are about to get raped. I looked around, no one was paying attention. He did it again. I said nothing. Then his hands began to move. At that point, i immediately got up and walked to the back, leaving my stuff there. I crouched beside mimi and begged joseph to switch seats with me, promising to explain later. Mimi was worried, because i was shaking. I was vvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery angry. Joseph, after much cajoling, agreed. As i sat, mimi asked me what happened, and i told her. I know this might sound like i overreacted, but c'mon. I don't even LIKE this guy. His presence, even before this, irritated the heck out of me. Plus, as he started stroking me, i remembered where i had met him before. He was at my friend's suprise bday party. He was the wierd guy that kept staring at me in a irritatingly lusty manner (Not the let-me-undress-you-look, but the i-have-just-escaped-from-prison-need-to-sleep-with-anything-in -skirt look). And that fact that he BARELY knows me, and felt like he had a right to touch me.... *shivers* Just thinking back to that day makes me get extremely nauseous and angry. After the movie, i immediately told him "sorry for the way i left, you made me feel uncomfortable. Mimi said even though i said that, my eyes said "If i slap you eh? Which kind liver you get? If you dare touch me next time, you won't be able to have children OR have sex again, period."

Don't know when next i will update, but i hope y'all have a good week!! For those in college, its crunch time huh? May we all pass our finals, AMEN!

Love, Honeywell

Update.

2008-04-07T18:32:00.003-04:00

Mehn, i have not written anything about my life for a while.. thats because i have been so dang busy!
LAWD!

Ok, lemme see.... i am still looking for a car oh, and i really need help finding a used one that is in good shape and not too expensive... i really need suggestions... i really want a toyota, and i sure as heck don't want a ford aka Found On Road Dead.... mbanu.

So, of course i have to talk about a man... :) There is this dude i am sorta interested in..... We have been sending each other signals since last semester, but nothing has happened yet.... He started to irritate me cuz i was wondering what all the shady stuff was about, so i stopped paying him any attention.

So in the last weekend of march, my friend told me he was having a bbq. I was working, but when i got off i found out it was just starting (see african people oh, the dude said the bbq will start at 3, and i got there 5.30pm. Oh well). So i walked up, said hi to all my friends, saw the dude that took me out to dinner and felt bashful for a sec (i'll talk about that later), and walked towards my friends from mali at the table. The weather nice and the park was beautiful, so i was feeling pretty good. Then i look up and there he is, sitting across from me by himself eating. Our eyes locked, and i swear it was like someone slowly took their hand down my spine...........

I had to get me some food right? He happened to be sitting at the table were all the plates and stuff were, so i went over there, but i did not look at him at all. I grabbed my plate and got some food. All of a sudden, someone grabs me from behind and hugs me. Now, ladies in the house, this dude is fit, as in, ripplin muscles (ok not that bad) but he looks good without a shirt :) (Lord forgive me for lusting). Anyway, he sha told me wassup. To cut a long story short, we had an unexpectedly long convo were i basically called him out for his BS and shadiness and all... not knowing i confused the poor guy so he did not know to toast me anymore... :) However, he told me that he did not know how to come at me because many guys had told him to back off because they were talking to me. All the while, i kept looking into this guy's eyes... Now, i know it sounds corny, but he has such beautiful brown eyes.. and the way he looks at you, like he is looking right into your soul, with his ever so slight arrogant half smile.......

Urm, what was i saying? Oh yeah, the guy

NO ONE (not here anyway) is talking to me. Apparently i found out that there is some kind of who-gets-to-ask-me-out-first thing going on (maybe its cuz my bros are graduating that these boys are now having liver). Oh well. We now talk more often, but he is in NY now :(

Now to other things. Please people let me know what you think concerning my previous post about Obama's pastor.... I don't know why they are suffering the dude like this mehn....

Yesterday i was talking to a friend of mine who was having issues with some dude (figures). I told her to cut the guy off, but she doesn't want to because other than the fact that they really like each other, they are really good friends. The guy has sha been enjoying free benefits from her over the past 1 year, even though he is dating someone else. Please, if a guy cannot leave his gf for you, that should be your cue to start walking. Like seriously. It will be hard-Yes. Especially if you are friends-undoubtably. But sometimes in life we just do what we have to do for our own sanity. I feel her pain though. I had to let go of a friendship i cherished as well, and talking to her about her probs brought that back to me. I haven't thought about it in a while, but i realised i kinda missed the friendship, but i am still grateful to God and myself for the decision i made to let go, because i have experienced God's peace so much since then.

i want to talk about another friend of mine. Y'all might remember him as Loverboi. Yes, Loverboi is still in my life.... Even though i decided not to go out with him, we are still good friends. So he liked this one white chick yeah, and they had been talking for a while now. He told me last friday that he was thinking of asking her out to the movies on sunday (yesterday). I told him to go ahead and let me know what happened. As in, this guy is the sweetest person i know, always willing to go the extra mile for you, and i figured the girl was lucky to have him. Only for him to call me and tell me some ish went down, and that the girl is no longer talking to him. Apparently, when he was in the gym on sat, she was there, but he did not say hi to her, and therefore she got mad and said she is getting back with her ex and does not want to speak to him again. Intriguing.

Please if anyone can help me understand her reaction, please hit me up. Note that he didnt say hi because his friend was talking to him, and when he was done, she was gone.

What else? I have so many things i want to talk about, but i am such a lazy typer.... I am already tired of typing.... Went out last saturday for my friend's birthday. I danced to 3 songs, spent half my time outside mad as hell because my friend went back to pick some peeps only to get lost after i had given her directions... the people she went to pick had their own car oh, so i don't know why she wasted gas going all the way back like a driver.... anyway, the people she did all this sufferhead for ended up going to another club, not the one we were at. So after spending all the time being mad outside, by the time she finally came, it was almost 1.30am, and they were only playing Techno. I don't do techno.

Had to run a marathon 8am sat. and pay $15 all to get 5 extra points in one class i am taking... what i won't do for school.. *sigh* as tiny as i am, i thank God i did not disappear after running mehn... Plus mumu (idiot) like me, i did not know it was cold, so i was wearing shorts and a tshirt in 53 degree weather to run... smart huh?

I have also officially admitted to myself that i find confidence almost bordering on arrogance extremely sexy in guys... Or a guy that knows how to dress... i was in Dillards on sat, and i saw this sales associate... He was perfectly dressed, from the D&G prescription glasses, to the dress shirt, tie and vest, to the well tailored pants and shoes..... lawd..... He was even short, but the way he dressed made of for everything in else in my eyes anyway..

Lastly, has anyone heard from Paradigm? For some wierd reason, i am worried about her.... Wherever you are, i hope your silence is an indication of good things happening in your life oh.....

What's been going on with y'all so far? I see JT is still spouting the gospel of relationships without telling us anything about his personal relationships.... Afrobabe is crazy as ever......Jaycee is inspiring as ever (that girl has got an awesome gift), bumight is keeping me laughing, Unwritten is almost like my mirror image, its scary... And everyone else on blogsville, have an awesome week!

The Barack Obama/ Rev Wright fiasco

2008-04-03T17:16:00.003-04:00

I was about to go and make some eba and egusi to eat. I put on the Fox news channel, and i heard something that made me mad.

This woman, whose name i will look up later, was interviewing another lady about some other pastor who was defending Rev Wright's comments. For those that do not know what i am talking about, Rev. Wright is the barack's pastor. He made some comments regarding the white race, as well as hillary and some other stuff. The media has refused to let this matter die. But what irritated me to the core was what i heard on tv less than a minute ago.

This white lady and starts talking derisively about rev. wright and the dude that was defending him. She said that people who are defending rev. wright are saying they should put what he said in context, and that where is the context? That if we people would give them context, they would look at it. The woman (interviewer) said the comments made by rev. wright were sacry. People have even called him a racist and unamerican.

WHO THE HECK ARE THESE PEOPLE????????

Now, even though i have not been in this country long, being in the south has given me a pretty good feel of what black people back in the day went through. So who the heck is this lady to come and tell rev. wright and black people in general to be quiet? Now, i am not saying that rev. wright did not say some things that were just wrong, i just don't see why people get so testy when people speak their mind frankly. Honestly, i don't think people would be this riled up if he used "political correctness". What do i mean by this? If he used words such as "upper class caucasians" versus "rich white folk" and "upper class people may rule the economy to some extent" versus "rich white folk rule america", people may not be as riled up.

This is my thing. I don't see why white people should so offended when a black person vents the anger they might have from how they were treated in the past. After all, rev. wright lived through the racist times (which have not ended, btw), so even though he is a man of the cloth, he is still, fundamentally, A MAN. A man who went through lynching, amongst other things. Why should he be condenmed for saying how he feels? Why can't freedom of speech apply to him??
Once again, i am not condoning what he said. I am simply aggravated that some young caucasian is getting on her high horse and talking derisively because someone expressed a pain she knows nothing about.

Consider this: When jewish people get slandered in the media (i forgot who did it, some actor), people get all riled up against the actor and force an apology. When a white guy calls a female a "nappy headed whore", people get all riled up and demand an apology. But when a black men says something that makes the white folk uncomfortable, they attack him and call him unamerican. Interesting.

Now, on a different outlook, something else is shocking about this whole thing. Where are the black people? You see, the man i spoke about above, the one defending rev. wright? He's white. Why is a white guy taking the heat for the defending a black man? Don't get me wrong, i am happy that he is crossing racial barriers and doing this, but where are the black people? Why isn't any black person defending this reverend?? I find it somewhat disappointing that once again, black people have watched their own get shot in the media, and do nothing about it.

Thanks to all those who commented on my previous blogs!! I found some stuff people said to be very interesting.. Hope y'all have a great weekend!! Thank God its thursday!

This is for the Africans and African Americans

2008-03-28T03:08:00.002-04:00

I will respond to the previous post shortly. But i was suddenly struck by this question and i want real opinions on this.

How come african (nigerian) girls usually only date within their own group (african/nigerian) while african (nigerian) men can date women from wherever?

Also, someone asked me today whether i have ever dated an african american and whether i would. Here is my honest opinion: When i look at/see african americans guys, i feel MOST of them (not all, i stress, not all) don't give their women the respect they deserve, or at least the level of respect i desire. What more an outsider (african)? In predominantly black schools, i have noticed that the africans and african americans mix well. Why is this not the case in other schools? Do nigerians do things that set them apart, or do they tend to keep to themselves?

Now, before i am asked, i will respond to the first question. All i can say is, after being here for a while, i just seem to be attracted to nigerian guys. Can't help it. I might see an african american boy that is to die for, talk to him, flirt with him, but come rain or snow, if a good looking nigerian boy talks to me, i am more likely to go with him. Why is that?

Guys, would you rather hot girl ask you out, or you ask the hot girl out?

2008-03-21T00:36:00.002-04:00

I guess the title is self explanatory.
This was inspired by a blog i read. Its called For the love of me. Unfortunately, i don't know how to do that thingy that will enable you to click on that blog name and it takes you to the page. Can someone enlighten me?

Anyway, he was talking about how nigerian women are becoming more bold. I have noticed that in general, women everywhere over the past 2 decades have become bold. Maybe its my upbringing, or the country that i am from,or my culture, but something about a girl toasting (hollering) at a guy just does not sit well with me. I rather the guy chase the girl, not the other way round. Or maybe i just old school (which would be wierd, since i am still really young).

So what do Y'all think? All things being equal, would you rather a girl toast(holla) a guy, or a guy toast a girl?

Frat Party/ Car help

2008-03-21T00:02:00.004-04:00

See me see wahala oh!

Ok, so last weekend, at noon, i met my friend at some event. I had been waiting for her earlier outside, and i was given an invitation for one party like this. I always get this info, but i never go. Being the workaholic that i am, i rather go to work and make the money and come home and sleep than go out. But something in me screamed "WOO HOO, BOOGIE TIME!"

Anyway, i told my friend about it. She was like "do you want to go?" and i gave a charming smile. She sighed and agreed.

At seven pm, i got off work. I didn't even study at work, because my friend was there all through, telling me about her man probs (i swear its like there is an invisible sign on my forehead saying "BOYFRIEND/MALE FRIEND GIST WAHALA DEPOSIT, X MARKS THE SPOT" in neon lights or something). Anyhoo, i carried my 2 left legs to my house, regretting why i did not study. Called my friend, and she told me to be ready for 10pm. I was like no shaking.

9.30pm i was done eating rice and stew with buttered veggies and chicken (mmmmm). Got upstairs and started my ritual. You see, i can't get ready for a party without blasting musci while i am getting dressed. Hopped into the shower, with usher's make love in the club blasting. I dance so much in the shower, i almost broke it once. i need a bigger one. Anyway, i got out, and i had no clue what to wear!!!!!!!! i finally decided on something. I wore a seagreen tube top that hugged my small waist and accentuated my "girls" without being overtly sexy (as you can probably tell from the design of my blog, i believe solely in the subtle, sophistcated sexy), skinny jeans and these killer shoes i just got. I slipped on my bling and waited for my friend.

Fastforward to the party. Seeing as i am an honorary soror of SGRho, i got in for greek price. We got in, and my girls started strutting. I got a barcadi silver (i actually don't drink, honest. i just like something to hold in my hands). After like an hour or 2, my friends were standing on the platform. I told them i wanted to be in the middle of the action, so i went down to the dancefloor, right where the Q's (Omega's) where strutting as per usual. So, there i was, minding my own business, when one of the guys in their line, while dancing, suddenly turned towards me and planted his mouth on my chest.

No, he did not hit my boob. He was closer to my collar bone. Its like time froze for me. Shock gave way to horror, and then to pissed-offness. Who was this random dude, planting his viral infected tongue on my skin, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?? So, before i knew it, the nigerian in me came out. I slapped him. A hot one, right on the cheek. He pulled back in amazement. Now, the Q is the toughest (physically) frat on my campus.. Yeah, the alphas are the hottest, and the Kappas are cool, but the Q's are like animals.... they called the dogs.... and they really are that wild. All the people around me stopped dancing, and the strut line stopped abruptly. Seeing as this was my first time in a veeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time at such an event, i was basically like a fish outta water. But as far as i am concerned, i don't care who you are, but no one disrespects me like that. No one. Next thing, i felt hands pulling me away, and i was dragged outside.
My friend asked if i was ok, and i said yeah. Later that night, my friend asked me if i was still going to the greek stepshow the next day. Why wouldn't i go? She was like what if that guy is there?

Do i look like i care? Anyhoo, i went for the step show, and i had a ball! Oh my goodness, alpha guys are soooooooooooo hot........... i was all a-flutter during the event..... And this cute guy came and sang falsetoo by The dream..... oh boy, is it getting hot here or what? :)
But yeah, it was a fab weekend.... Oh yeah, i might be in and out of blogsville, got tons of work to do PLUS its my spring break and i am heading down to florida mehn.......

PS: Blog people, i need your help. First and foremost, thanks for all the words of encouragement. I don't pick up my ex's calls anymore. He buzzed me 5 times and called me 5 times when i was writing this, but i did not answer him. Anyway, i am looking to buy a used car, and i want something that looks fly but has excellent gas mileage (27mpg and above). I don't know much cars. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Betrayal

2008-03-16T15:28:00.004-04:00

"Hey"
A smile crosses her lips. She is thankful for the grace of God on her life, that she could experience this moment with no hard feelings

"I'll be leaving tomorrow. I found somewhere i could go"
"No problem. Holla at me on your way out ok?"

She nodded. Her eyes fell upon her laptop once again. Her spirit felt weak. Tired. Slightly exhausted. It had gone more miles over the past weeks and months that it had ever done. Finally sleep came and stole her away. A blessed escape.

*A Few hours ago*

Phone rings. Its stephan.
"I can come and pick you up from the station. Just take a taxi to Bloomington station, and then take a train down to Monroe. Then call me when you get there"

She sat down on the couch. How could this happen to her? Funny how plans change. Never one to focus on the present turmoil, she arose and walked out to the foyer, over to her suite. Her ever faithful laptop on, she turned on her media player and pressed play. Amy Winehouse started crooning. "Befitting song" she thought to herself, as Amy sang of her triumph over he enemies. "I know this hurt will pass, i just need to get through this and focus on my getting my paperwork"
Born in cameroun, Jasmine never thought she could miss her home in France so much. She never was excited about going there to live, but right there and then it seemed like heaven.

She packed her things, humming along to the music. She felt connected to the song, because just as Amy was told to go to rehab and said no, she felt she was being tested, like the devil was trying to push her over the cliff, but she was refusing to give in.

Phone rings. Its her friend Amina.
"Hello?"
"Ok, so what is happening now?

"I think i am just going to go now, instead of waiting for them to come back. Its not like i care, to be honest. I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, no?" With her pretty french accent.

"Jasmine, its late. I can understand why you don't want to be there when they get back, but you don't even know where Monroe is. Its late, and with all your luggage, it could be dangerous. Why don't you just spend the night and leave tomorrow?"

"You have a point there. I don't feel like going out anyway, its really cold. I guess i'll just wait till tomorrow. You know, the funny thing is, i don't want to leave because she is coming, or because of any so called emotional attachment. Its the betrayal that hurts."

"Betrayal? What are you talking about?"

"I understand Santiago's reasoning, and the logic behind it. Forget all the lovey dovey ish, its the fact that the one person i felt knew me better than most people, the one person whom i trusted, is basically flinging me under the bus. But its all good. I can't say i haven't learnt my lesson."

"Jasmine, i feel you. Right now, just enter your room and sleep. By this time tomorrow, you will be far away from them. Focus on getting your stuff and coming back home"

"Alright. I'll call you if anything changes."

She looked her her luggage. She had already pulled it up beside the front door. The taxi had already been called. She wanted nothing more at the moment to leave the house. The selfishness of her friend was enough to make her vomit her insides in digust and disappointment. But, calm and poised as ever, she dragged her heavy boxes back into her new room. It felt strange but peaceful, without all the discomfort and ghosts of the room next door. And strangely enough, it was more comfortable than the bed she had been resting in and the arms she had laid her head on. The new bed felt like a lovely dose of reality, washing down on spirit, granting her peace.

NEXT DAY.

The sound of plates hitting each other woke her up. Out of habit, she looked out the window. Although the apartment was lavish, it seemed to lack the ability to let sunlight in. She took it as a sign for her to leave. Tired, however, she closed her eyes, lulling herself back to sleep.
The clanging started again. Pissed, she got up and reached for her phone. It was 6.30am. Who the hell washes plates at this time? Is this some kind of punishment, or some kind of departure bell, telling her to hurry up and get the hell out of the house? The rebel in her decided to sleep for an even longer time, and decided not to rush. "After all, why should i feel uncomfortable? My wrong was in trusting a skank. Even though i have a part to play, it was a part of innocence, naivety and stupidity, so no one can say i purposely hurt anyone." On that note, she closed her eyes and slept.

5 hours later, she arose. A sense of her old self was coming back, and she loved it. She loved the fact that she was going through a situation that would break most people, but she was surviving it. She took her towel and went to the shower. Sean Kingston sounds good. Jay Z's LA LA LA (Excuse me miss again) Sounds even better. Feeling better than she had in days, she got into the shower, rapping along with the Master. She got back to the room, and got dressed. Her emotional part seemed to have departed, or frozen, or maybe she just could not give a damn either way. Off she went to the living room, remembering the thai food she left in the freezer. There was no way in hell she was going to leave it for him to eat. She turned around, and there she was. The look on her face was one that Jasmine could not really understand, but seemed closest to finely disguised annoyance. For some reason, this pleased Jasmine. Even though she had plans to take her food to the room to eat, she decided to seat right there and eat. Jasmine laughed to herself, and wondered why she loved to make people uncomfortable. The girl was on her laptop, listening to music, with the tv on. Disney channel was on. Oh my goodness, i hate cartoons, Jasmine thought to herself. The girl got up without a word, and later came back with the remote control. Jasmine murmured a thanks and changed the channel to BET.

It was time to leave. She signed out of her msn, laughing at all the curses her friend molly threw at him. Its not his fault, she told molly. Its mine for trusting him. Aren't you hurt? Molly asked. Strangely, no, Jasmine replied. The part that hurts is the fact that apparently a friendshio i thought meant a lot apparently meant nothing. Do you know that he was even willing to let me go to a motel, just not to deak with it? Molly laughed and threw some more curses. Jasmine laughed, and promised to call later. She packed up her laptop, and looked around, making sure she didn't leave anything. She didn't want to have any cause to come back, not until her document came, thats for sure. As she looked around, she felt a slight pang of pain. She knew that they would never be friends again. For a second, she wondered if this was how Jesus felt when he figured out that Judas would betray him. After a second of pondering, she looked at t he bed. Her phone was vibrating. The taxi had come. She dragged her box up the stairs and opened the front door. The sun was shining, brighter than she had ever seen it since she came to london that winter. Something whispered to her "Its all over. Peace is on the way."

The taxi guy came and helped with her bags. She saw her ex-friend's landlord walk up to the apartment. She gave him a beautiful, genuine smile. He hollered "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She smiled again and got into the cab. The driver took off, and she never looked back.

She dragged her luggage through the station. To her amazement, no one even offered to help her with her bags. She got stares from passerbys, looks of pity, wonder and amazement. Tired and hungry, she collapsed with her bags on a seat.

2 Hours later.

"Where the hell is this guy? With my luck, he'll be an ugly leech" Jasmine thought to herself. Never one to be patient, she was getting irritated. It was almost an hour after when he was supposed to be there, and he had not come yet. He was not picking up his phone. At the height of her annoyance, she saw a young black man approach her, with a serious look on her face.
"Jasmine?"
"Yeah"
"I'm Stephan. Nice to meet you."

She could almost feel her world spin. The good times where about to roll....

To be continued (hopefully, fingers crossed)

AAAAAAAAAAARGH!

2008-03-13T00:46:00.003-04:00

Ok people, i need your help (i can't even believe i am doing this, quite unlike me)

So, i had this dude i dated last year, for about 3 months. Things were good at first, and then stuff started going downhill. I sacrificed a lot of who i was for him, and one day i snapped out of it and broke up with him.

He would call me endlessly (as in 3 times/hour, i kid you not) until i felt so pressured, i would say yes and get back with him. We would get back for a couple days, but i would be unhappy with my decisionn and break up with him again. Finally, in october, i broke up with him for good.

Since then, he still calls me, trying to get back with me, telling me that he really loves me and all. Trying to make me feel sorry for him. But i refuse to date someone just because i feel bad for the person. We argue everytime we speak, because he doesn't know how to talk. He says some thing that get me so mad, my bad side comes out. Tonight was one of those nights. He is graduating and is going to do some work overseas. He wants us to get back together and be together even when he is far away. Bear in mind that i don't even like this guy anymore. Now, i am not heartless, i totally understand how he feels, and it sucks to love someone and they don't love you back. But my ethics will not allow to date someone if i don't have genuine feelings for them. For the past 5 months, this guy has done everything to get me back, and its only by the grace of God that i have not yielded to the pressure. I have tried everything i can to convince this guy that i dont want to get back with him, but to no avail. Tonight, i decided to forget tact and tell him straight up i don't love him anymore, and i don't have the emotional energy to build anything with him. I am still young, so its not like i am at the age where i have to get married quickly. I hate to say this, but its not my fault that when i had feelings, albeit misguided ones, he was an absolute jerk to me. So when i told him that i didn't think it was a good idea we get back, he started telling me that what i am doing is not fair, and that i am full of myself. He also said, when i told him that i know what i want, and that we are not just compatible and we don't click the way i would want, he started asking me am i God? that why am i acting as if i am God, after all, only God knows what is good for me (implying that God would want him in my life). That got me irritated. I mean, why drag God into this? What more, why manipulate the name of God to get what you want? He also went on to say that i don't know what i am doing. I started getting mad, and i dropped the phone (thats damage control for me: i'd rather drop the phone than say something mean). When he called back, i apologised, and then he started saying that he knows my strategy is to get us to quarrell everytime we talk, so that i can now have something to stand on when i say we are not compatible, that i don't know what i want, and i am just basically being a mean person. Right now i am pissed beyond compare. Irritatingly enough, this is not the first, 5th, or 10th time this is happening. He always does this. Always. And it always makes me mad. I realise it was a mistake dating him, and i don't want to go back to that. I have deleted him from my msn before, and even from my facebook. If i decide not to pick his calls, he simply keeps calling and calling and calling and calling and calling.... especiallyat like 7am.... AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? AM I WRONG FOR NOT GETTING BACK WITH SOMETHING I DON'T WANT? I UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS GOING THROUGH, I REALLY DO, BUT I REFUSE TO SACRIFICE MY HAPPINIESS TO MAKE HIM HAPPY. HE EVEN SENT ME A MESSAGE SAYING THAT I AM FEELING LIKE THE S***. So i am feeling like the S*** BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK WITH HIM? WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL?????????? OOOOOO HE MAKES ME MAD......

This is not all... we have had some serious arguments in the past.....he has called me a slut, a cheat, treats me like i am a 5 year old that has no clue as to what the world is about (even though he is only 3 years older than me).. oh shit, he is calling me back again........

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS MEHN?

2008-03-09T04:05:00.002-04:00

I am sorry if i come off as arrogant, but what can i say, i love myself... :0)
Did you know that honeywell=fabulous?

International week ended today with out international dinner and ball.... after my driving up and down town, running here and there, the week is finally over... and i had a BLAST!!!!!!!!!!

So our dinner and ball was tonight.... started at 7pm......but because i was still busy making sure that everything was ok, i didn't get a chance to go home and change till like 8pm. Grabbed my friend and ran home like an idiot. Got into the shower, with some loud music, and then they stated playing my song falsetto my the dream.......

My my my, tempation already?

I sha got ready finally. My friends were getting very impatient, waiting for me in the car. As i walked up to the car, my girls started screaming. Ah, gotta love em :)

Did i mention i randomly asked this one one guy from a neighbouring school last week to be my date? Anyhoo. i got there. 5 hot, and sexy girls, walking into an occasion like that, can i hear someone say SHOWSTOPPING??

After being mauled by paprazzi, i finally got a chane to get in. Said hi to my friends, and grabbed my plate and attacke the food display. It was almost all gone! *sob* On my way there, i saw my friend from another school. I will call him dancer. So i didn't say anything, simply walked past. Walked past again. Then the 3rd time, i was like "hey dancer!"
And walked away. :)

After chilling and eating for a lil bit, i took more pics, and then the dancing started. My fave part! :) With my heels and FABULOUS DRESS, i took to the dance floor to show the poor fellows how its done.

I will highlight only a couple events from the night, cuz i have to get into bed. :)
My date arrived. I have to say, he looked good. I will call him Q. My close friend M has been trying to hook me up with Q, but he is too quiet for me, unfortunately... I am a lively child, i need a lively person... but she keeps insisting that we are perfect for each other.
Whatever.
So i went back and forth between the dance floor, my friends, and my date. I even saw this one guy who kept bugging me at a nigerian independence party last year. I gave him some number, thinking i'd never see him again, only to see him again. I didn't even recognise him. I just walked past, and someone caught me by my arm.

Dude: Honeywell
H: Do i know you?
Dude: I am that guy from the party last year, remember? You gave me a fake number
H: *Lord have mercy* Ok, i will be right back alright?

Of course i dodged him for the rest of the night.

So as for dancer... hmm, funny enough, we only see ourselves about twice a year... but whenever i see him, i develop a slight crush... which lasts for about a week or 2, and then its gone.... now, he's not fine or anything, but i love his character mehn..... but moving on..... So he called me over, and started talking about how i owe him a dance from last year's international dinner and ball (which was this time last year). From arguing about who is better, we started talking. After a while, to escape the loud music, we went outside to talk. He took off his jacket and gave it to me. We took a stroll, and sat down by the lake. It was like 12.30am. So we kept on talking, random stuff from his relationship to my ex to internships to viagra........ Anyway, his boys called him and said they were heading back for their school..... I went back in, feeling bad because i had not given my president's speech, when i heard the annoucement...

"And the best dressed couple is........Honeywell and Q!!!"
Yes people, yours truly was the best dressed.... what can i say, i am fierce...... :)
I felt bad though, because i had not spent quality time with my date... oh well.....
one of my other male friends from the other school dragged me and we danced..... then it was time for them to go :(

Walked them outside, while my male friend, Q, and dancer struggled to take pics with me. Then, out of desire to win the competition, dancer carried me in his arms... we looked so cute... :) he carried me all the way outside....long story short, they left.

Now, there is this boy i met 2 years ago, summer 2006.... we had this awesome chemistry... like, we would be in the same room, and the stirrings of desire would be so strong, other people could feel it, without both if us even being near each other... Now people, get your minds out of the gutter.. nothing happened between us, not even a kiss.... upon all the desire and chemistry, i didn't want anything to have to do with him.... I remember one night, he drove up 2 hours to my house, and i left on purpose just before he came... he kept begging to see me, but i said no..... Now back to the present. I was eating jejely, minding my own business and laughing with friends, when i turned around, AND THERE HE WAS. I sha ignored him the whole night and stayed out of his way..... I don't want wahala.....

Let me see, what else happened? I danced my socks off.....Which is what i am known for anyway....oh yeah, the guy that has been playing mind games with me, the one that kissed me? He came like an hour to the end of the whole thing... kept circling my perimeter, waiting for me to say wassup..... like really, if you have something to say, just say it.... all dem games make me tired... so i didn't even bother saying anything to him..schew...

OOOOOOOOOO, dancer is calling me.... goodnight y'all.. :)

Honeywell.

Stuff spewing from my brain at 1.00am

2008-03-05T01:41:00.003-05:00

LAWD!
So, international week is finallt here...... After all the wahala... its not over though, but so far, it has been awesome! thank you God...
The Pageant was AWESOME! Miss Nigeria was first runner up, and Miss Mexico won... i can't be mad, miss mexico did good... all the girl were beautiful....I'll post some pics soon when i get a breather... moving on.

Had to present a visual argument today. You read right: i said visual argument. What the heck is that, you ask? I don't know either. But i sha did it today. I argued (visually, i guess) against cosmetic plastic surgery in female teen.... that ish pisses me off... at least wait for God to do his work, or mother nature, or whatever you believe in (scientology, whatever) before you put silicon in there for crissakes..... nonsense. Before i started the powerpoint, i forgot to change my desktop pic. The thing is, my desktop pic is that guy, the main actor and my boo, in the movie Stomp The Yard.... So you can imagine the reaction i got when i hooked up my laptop to the projector..... but my class already knows i am crazy, so it was a normal thing to happen, coming from me.....

I remembered today something i wanted to post a while back..... see what happened to my friend oh..... to place things in context, she was sleeping, and it was like 4am in Silver Springs, Maryland, USA.

*Phone rings*
Nigerian number appears on the phone
Friend: *grumbles* Hello?
Negro: MONIKA? (In thick igbo accent)
Friend: Hello?
Negro: Monica? Monica?
Friend: I am sorry, you have the wrong number.

*4.05am*
*Phone rings*
Friend: Hello?
Negro: Monica?
Friend: You have the wrong number.
Negro: Please i am looking for my sister Monica
Friend: I don't know any Monica
Negro: Please sister you have to help me. I am looking for my sister Monica. My name is Onyeka.
Friend: I don't know any Monica. Goodnight.
Negro: PLEASE SISTER, WHERE IS MONICA?

Friend drops phone.

5.00am
*phone rings*

The next day we saw that he left a voicemail, because she didn't pick up the last time. As we were listening to it, he calls.
Friend: Hello?
Negro: Ah ah, sister, you don't have to behave like that now. Why can't we be friends?
Friend: I thought you were looking for your sister
Negro: Why can't we be friends? I like you. Its not like that now....

I don't know what trash can they are breeding these children from. Like seriously, what was that all about?

I applied for internships in john hopkins and NYU. Was rejected. I aint mad. They sent me a nice rejection letter, with their credentials at the bottom. I replied, telling them that they should notify me when a slot is available. On a rebellious note, i also included, and i quote, "I possess an excellent mind and a strong work ethic, and i believe your program needs me. I am an asset that is worth investing in" And then i signed it like so:
*Honeywell*
President
International Student Council

Na only them wet get credential? Schew........ :)

Some dude i randomly flirted with some weeks ago has been playing mind games with me...... who sent me message? One day i was sleeping and he starts texting me around 2am on friday night, giving me some kind yarns about wanting to see me...... see me seee wahala oh, i have now become a member of Booty Calls Association Of America abi? Schew....... Rule #1: If we are not a friendship terms aka you don't know me a lil bit, call me during the day, especially if you are a guy. Now, i don't object to being called at night..... but when you call me ONLYafter 1am, telling me ish, i find that disrespectful..... if you don't want to get to know me while the sun is shining, don't think i will give you that priviledge in the middle of the night.... i now saw the dude during the rehearsal for the pageant last sunday....... i was dressed nicely (as always lol) and just kept staring..... he kept waiting for me to come and say hi, so i did, and he kissed me on the cheek. Now, i wouldn't care if we were french, but we are nigerians for crissakes. NO need to do that... unless he wanted to kiss me, of course.... ;)

Ok, now i am going to sleep... Have a good week everyone!

Amarula Cream: Africa.

2008-03-04T23:52:00.000-05:00

Africa, oh Africa
When will you recognise your riches?
When will you obtain self worth?
When will my people stop fighting each other?

Day after Day
Stories of bloodthirsty gun-handling kids shattering eardrums
Tales of women and children being raped pierces my heart
When willing people realise the foolhardiness in giving into the greed of the White Man?
But our own self destruction in itself is rooted in greed
The same greed brought on boats
Sailing in from miles away
Passed to my once peaceful people by the thrash of the whip and Darwin's Survival of the Fittest Theory
That same greed is what has caused father to rape daughter
Father to sell Son
Father to kill Mother.

My heart bleeds for you, Oh Africa
You are so blessed!
Enriched and fortified with treasures get to be named or discovered
Bounteous crops that feed the world
If you did not exist, Africa,
There would be no Kay's Jewellers.
There would be no Starbucks or Tim Hortons
There will be no Manolos or Leather Jackets
Chic fur
Hugo Boss cologne
And a lot more

You, my mother, have been robbed
Been robbed for centuries
But not with arms
But with a smooth tongue whose words you cannot decipher
But sounds slightly appealing to the ear
A smiling face you instantly trust because of naivety
Naivety born out of never encountering such ruthlessness.
So instead, you turn your frustration to your children
Your children kill themselves inorder to appease the Light Skinned unfamiliar (familiar?) fellows.
We beat up on each other because some are lighter skinned that us
We hate each other because Kenya cannot understand Igbo
Instead of us to rise up to our full potential

The world perpetuates hate amongst us
Because the world is terrified of what will happen
When Africa awakens from its deadened slumber
After all, my friends, pause and consider with me for a second
Is England not but an island?
Is America not but a huge landmass with cotton, COTTON, its only major export?
Do we not have the means?
Do we not have the resources?

Look at our fellow Man
The Chinese Man
Laughed at in high school for being nerdy
Ignored in college for being introverted
Is his economy not the fastest growing economy?
Is his brother not on your block, offering General Tao Chicken with a drink for $8.99?

The world marvels at their growth
My friends, do not be decieved.
For what the Chinese Man discovered is the true source of success?
"UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL"

I imagine an Africa with no war
No strife
No corruption
Nothing but peace
Will you agree with me that then,
and only then,
Will we be the greatest people on Earth?

~Honeywell

Slight despair and Joy in five minutes

2008-03-01T16:22:00.006-05:00

The pain.

The pain is diffuse

not necessarily strong

but there nonetheless.

Brought on by hormones

by the visual

For something that can never be

Something unreal

That much is true

that much is accepted

expected

and recieved

But on very, very, rare occasions

It comes back

And comes knocking

But i am strong

and fierce

And when it comes knocking

I am reminded by my savior

"In due time my dear, in due time"

All things beautiful, all things sure, all things everlasting

Will come

In due time

~Honeywell.

The ANTI-MLA.

2008-02-21T15:25:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read right.

I said the ANTI-MLA.

For those that do not know, MLA is a standardized form of citing your sources in the USA to avoid plagairism.

In other words, you no fit carry person's work of the internet or somewhere without saying you did it. No copy and paste, no dubs,

NOTHING.

Except you let the reader know you did it.

Now, i am not anti MLA, but some dude i met is. I am sure you are wondering why in the world i am writing about this. Well, you are about to find out.

My english class, surprisingly, is one of my faves this semester. Thats because we dont write as many papers, discuss figurative speech, or any of that boring crap.

A typical day in this class involves loud arguments over racism, gay marriage, britney spears, obama, the iraqi war, michael jackson, femininity, amongst other things.

Y'all know (or maybe you don't) that i love such arguments, which is why i love this class.

But one day, something went terribly wrong.....

So, in my school, you are only allowed for absences for the semester, regardless of the class. So if you stab (miss) class more than 4 times, there will be repercussions. By the 3rd week of school however, everyone is pretty much settled into their classes anc schedules and such. I love my class. Everyone in my class is great in different ways, and we have become like family, including the instructor, who is a yound intelligent graduate student.

One day, this random guy who talks loudly came into the class 10 mins late. We all looked at him funny. I personally thought that maybe he came into the wrong class by mistake, but apparently, he was enrolled for that class. He just didn't feel like coming till the 3rd week of school i guess.

Right away, we notice how obnoxious he is, but not in an in-your-face way. You know one of those people who feel they are smart and everyone else below them, but they feel sorry for us minions/goblins, and so they take pity on us? And talk to us in a nice-put down kinda way?

He is one of those people.

Can't stand such people, personally. A little hint of my nature: I love to tackle guys who think they have it all but some and reduce them to nothingness :)

But moving on.

All the while, in classes to follow, he kept irritating the instructor, asking dumb questions like "why is the syllabus online, instead of giving me one in person?" and giving off beat comments on topics, such as bringing in economy or heart disease or something like that. It always irritated me. I would roll my eyes, but i never said anything.

He is a white male, with black tousled hair and a black goatee. I usually don't go into such details, but this time i make the exception. He looks frumpy, but not too frumpy. I am giving you his description in case you see him (or me) on tv one day. So, in a previous class, some people had asked the instructor (i'll call her L) to go over the whole MLA thing in the next class. So she came, and went over where to cite, how the works cited page should be, etc. She also got us a step by step handout on how to use our online library resources to find sources for our papers. In layman's terms, we have to use some stuff on our school library website to find stuff like articles for our papers. We cannot go on google and find random stuff. That is how it is in all english classes at my school, and any idiot who has taken an english class knows this.

So when L asks "Any questions?", The dude--and i'll call him dude from now on-- asked out loud, and not in an orderly fashion:

"Why do we have to do this? Why can't i go on google? Isn't it the same article i will end up using at the end of the day?"

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST MANAGED TO ASK THE DUMBEST QUESTION IN EDUCATION'S HISTORY!

And so ensued an argument between dude and L. At first, no one cared, and no one was listening. But after 15 mins, he was still asking stupid questions, and using an arrogant, i-know-it-all-and-you-don't-know-jack tone with L. L was obviously trying very hard not to loose her cool. One of the questions he asked was

"What qualifies you to tell me i am wrong?" (talking to L)

Now, that was just plain rude. After whispering to my friend (urm, her PhD?), I raised my hand amd said in a nice tone

"I don't mean to be rude to anyone, but can we move on for God's sake"

And then he threw me a nasty look and continued arguing in a masked, tense, controlling voice. He even had the audacity to state "I don't need to look up articles for my paper. My thoughts are better than anything in the New York Times or The Economist"

At that point the americanized part of me, so to speak, issued a "ding!" of warning well known to everyone. It screamed AW HELL NO!

People in class started murmuring, because the argument had gone on back and forth for 20 mins, and was getter more and more terse and tense as time passed. Then my friend, as older black lady with 3 kids, spoke up:

"Baby (addressing dude), i drive up 2 hours and 3o mins everyday for this class, please let us not take up all the time on this"

That was not a direct quote, but she did call him baby and mention the 2 hour 30 min drives.

To which he replied, "Well, shaq!" and said some other stuff..... But you could tell that he wanted to call her a negro, but didn't want to come and and say it directly. Now, in the south, there still some hidden racial tension going on, and so, at that, the whole class went into a frenzy. The dude got up, and i don't know w hat he was about to do, but next thing i noticed, he had left class, and so had L.

This happened about 1 1/2 weeks ago. Because of this incident, the amount of student shootings that have gone on in this year in this country, and the fact that we have lost 3 students this semester to shootings (all very, very seperate events: one guy shot his gf and himself, and 2 weeks later another random girl was found shot dead in her house in a town 3 hours away), we had to write statements and give them to the dean. We had the right to not have our names mentioned for our safety. We also had to lock ourselves into the class, so that we could open it from the inside and run if necessary (he was banned from the class and not allowed near the perimeter) but he also could not come in. And now, we have had to change classes to another one upstairs, but we cannot put a sign in the old classroom saying where the new class is.

I told me friend what happened. She had only 2 things to say to me:
"Honeywell, you are the only person i know that can find themselves inside one kind of dramatic situation or the other"
"Next time, for heavens sake shut up and mind your business"

But what is the point of God creating me, if i cannot speak up when evil rears its head? Or in a less figurative manner, when i see something wrong?

2008-02-20T02:20:00.003-05:00

tired of the mundane
the ordinary
fear of the norm
a stirring for something more
something greater
something bigger than what the eyes can see and the brain can envision

the time has come for the brain to twist back on itself
and wander down roads not unlike the beaten path
and consider all deeds
evaluation time, if you please
A fool?
perhaps
but wisdom will not receive her Oscar without being compared to folly

Promised Gist 3.

2008-02-14T19:51:00.000-05:00

Continuation of promised gist.

After we got back from niagara, i had a day to chill. Basically lazed around and did nothing with the guys (crazy and zanzibar had left).

The next day (a thursday), fb got all excited about this club he had heard of that would be banging that night. I had heard of it before, and how old men go there to get young girls. Fat old men with wives at home and an uncontrolled libido (even if they have ED- Erectile Dysfunction). I could just picture it:

*Old man walks up to fb*

"bros, i want that girl"

fb: "say what?"

OM:"Don't worry, i will pay you well for her"

fb: "Urm, dude, i am not a pimp"

OM: "Look, boy, you don't have to pretend at this. I am experienced in this, and i know how it goes down. Don't worry, you don't know me, i don't know you. Oya give me the girl, abi name your price"

fb: " Look, sir, i don't know what you are talking about. That girl is my friend and...."

OM: "Friend? i see... so that is what it is called nowadays. Ok, friend, whatever you call her, stop fronting and name your price"

Ok, I got way overboard with that. Let me concentrate on the story at hand.

I didn't mind going out, i was all for it. The thing i couldn't stand is how these boys could waste time. It takes them an hour to get ready to go to the gas station!!!!! So fb had told me this (the going out thing) by like 4pm, and i was ready by 5pm. I had already made up my mind that we were not going to leave till 8pm. Loverboi kept laughing at me as i kept affirming to Ola "boy, don't waste your time, we aint leaving here till 8pm. These people get ready slower than housewives going out to dinner for the first time"

I got ready and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And i was getting irritated. FB was still not ready, so i went back to loverboi's house. He was ready, so we left with ola to chief's house. Chief was making dinner!!!! I was like wth, aren't we supposed to be going out? And there he stood, apron and all (flashed me back to when some guy came to my house and cooked me dinner for no reason and without telling me beforehand. But that's for another blog). I have to say he looked kinda cute. But i put on a stern face and scolded him. So he finished up quickly. It was 6pm.

7pm: I am blasting music, and loverboi and chief are arguing about who is better at something, and ola is doing some kinda wierd gay dance to the song i was playing, "please don't stop the music" by rihanna (love that song btw).

8pm: Fb does not want to drive his car, and everyone is arguing loudly about how we would all fit in loverboi's car. Loverboi bought a 2 door car (which ola said was selfish of him. Actually, his exact words were; "oh boy, how you carry yourself go buy 2-door car? yo thats just selfish now... 2 door car is for when you just marry and you and your wife just dey pose, dey do some mr and mrs smith shit, not when you have boys. That's just selfish. I am sure you did it because you want to mise gas, because you know boys no fit enter your car." I laughed my ass off at that). Ola stated loudly for the whole neighbourhood to hear that he was not going to sit at the back (all dem guys were really tall and such). In his words, "I am not folding". Chief was trying to convince loverboi to drop his off at scarborough. It was jus mayhem, with everyone shouting and stuff. Loverboi finally agreed, and we all squeezed into his car and left by like 9pm.

I was excited. Finally, we were on the road! We stopped at someone else's house though, but we finally made it into the club by like midnight (cuz the boys started playing fifa in their friends house). In summary, i had a lot of fun.

Oh wait, i almost forgot. There was this old dude that kept stalking me. Even followed me to the ladies. Hmmph! Finally, i told him "look, my boyfriend won't like this" and he was like who is your bf? And i pointed to loverboi. Immediately, he backed off. You see, loverboi works as a bouncer, and therefore looks like a bouncer. I'll leave what he looks like up to your imagination.

In addition, loverboi asked me to dance, but for some reason, i felt uncomfortable with the notion of dancing with him at first, so i told him no. But i danced with other people though. He sat in some spot and had this angry look on his face. I kept coming back from the dancefloor to check on him. Each time i asked him if he wants to dance, but he never answered me. Hmm. Up till now, he claims that i never asked him. I started wondering why he was soo mad, but i let it slide because i felt at the time he didn't want to talk about it.

We left, i had a blast, but the boys kept saying that they were not going there again. Seeing as most of them don't really dig naija girls cuz they feel we are too difficult, i guess thats why they hated the club. Oh well.

Sidenote: That morning, my whole situation made me weary....... Checked my email.... No news, my document had not come in. I had rescheduled my flight to leave the next day, friday. This was thursday. So i missed xmas and now it looked like i was going to spend new year in canada as well. Now, don't get me wrong, i was having a wonderful time.... I guess the feeling of being held back against my will was bothering me..... I missed my friends and family, and no end seemed to be in sight.... plus, i would have to move my flight again, and i had no clue when my document would come in.... All my plans for my break just seemed to be spiralling out of control (now that i look back on it, i think God was teaching me to trust him, because i like to be in control, and the fact that i had no control as to what was happening was making me mad).
I got into the shower, sorrow hanging over my head. My prayers over the past couple days involved begging God at sporadic moments to deliver my mail...... I turned on my music, and climbed into the shower. Jets of water hit my body, making an attempt to calm me down..... And all my questions came tumbling out....

WHY GOD?
Why is it that whenever i ask you to do something for me, something i really want, you never do it, but if my mother prays the same prayer, you'll grant it?
You know that i am happy here lord, but not knowing when (or if) i will get back to the states is killing me....

And i that point, i knelt down in the shower, all the anguish i had buried for long, sorrow that the exciting moments with my friends kept at bay, came pouring out for a split second.....

FASHION SHOW

2008-02-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness, I HAD A BLAST!

So i have been kinda MIA for a while.... maybe its because i have to deal with:

School

+

Work

+

Sickness

+

Fashion show/modelling

+

Dance practise

+

Volunteer work at the hospital

+

International Week (i am the president of the international students council)

+

Some other random ish.

Ok, let me backtrack a bit.....

I have been having trouble sleeping (which has been bothering me, i am too young for this nonsense oh! no way am i, in my young, tender and FABULOUS age am i going to start taking sleeping pills, aw hell no). So, on friday, after having like 1 hour sleep, i was off to class by 7.30am. Had a TWO HOUR pharmacology class. Yuk. Then had anatomy and phys after, which i like, so it was not too bad. Ran some errands, went to lab for a bit, and then had a meeting from 1pm-3pm (yup, it was that long. thats how much ish i have to deal with on the daily).

I ran some more errands, and then instead of me to come home and rest, NO! I did follow-follow and went shopping. Got some FAB SHOES and some random top and came back home. Girls, have you ever felt that feeling of euphoria from getting something you really love mixed with fear of your bank account? Good, then we are on the same page so far.

And guys, you are included too. Be it far from me to only single out females on my blog....:)

Anyway, i went to work, came back around 9pm, washed my hair, and then went to get it done.

I did not finish till 10.30am. No, you did not read that wrong.

After that, my body was screaming for some rest. I literally got home and collapsed. Crashed and miss work

Crap.

Woke up to find 10 missed calls. People were worried about where i was. I called my supervisor and explained, but i still got a warning. If i get another one, i'll loose my job.

Crap.

Anyhoo, i had a lapse that night.... my entire head/face/jawbone was killing me... and i still got up to study (efiko ni mi).

Anyhoo, back to my original point (i can deviate sha). It was SOOOOO much fun. I reall do love modelling and dancing. Hearing people call your name as you come down the runway, hearing the wolf whistles, and endless "you looked awesome"......... and just the rush of it all..... was really really good......

So now i can scratch that off my list..... I still have 4 more major events to go... God help me.... Going to study now (i hope).

So there you go paradigm. I have updated. :)

PS: Did anyone watch the grammys? I was jumping for joy when kanye won rap album of the year, but i have to say his acceptance speech put me off a bit.... The gall of the man.... He has amazing talent, and i love his music, but really, must he be so arrogant sometimes? He said, and i quote "Common, i told you, don't drop an album the same year as me mehn!" (common was also nominated in this category).

Just for joblessness..... Actually, not joblessness, but too busy to blog anything major at the mo'

2008-02-06T11:25:00.000-05:00

I have sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much i want to/have to talk about, but i am simply too tired these days.... my entire campus seems to be coming down with some kinda virus pandemic.. been sick on and off for 2 weeks, been having school+work+fashion show practise+dance practise+meetings of all sorts+volunteering back to back..... So yeah... imma be back soon.....

In the meantime, y'all know i have to make sure i stay in your thoughts..... I saw this on someon'e blog, i've forgotten who..... And i thought, what the hell, lets see what results will spring up.... So have a go at it....

1. Take a stab at my middle name?
2. Color of my eyes?
3. Do I have any siblings-if so, how many?
4. What's one of my favorite things to do?
5. What's my favourite type of music?
6. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
7. Any special talents
8. What attracted me to my significant other?
9. Describe me in 3 words...
10. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?

I tried thinking of another question to add to this.... Abegi! I am too tired for such.... Back to my cheerios and Dayquil.. Cheers!

PS: With vals day coming up.. i thought i'd share something... i honestly think someone has jazzed me.... maybe one of the guys i was not nice too back in the day.... cuz for the past 2 years, i get sick on vals day.... hmm...... Also, i came across Toochi's blog.... He was writing about true love.... And i was wondering, why is vals day a big deal? (especially for nigerians?). I don't understand it... even when i have a val, i don't really care.... If i am feeling tired that day, i am not going out.....I believe if you love me, you should show me that everyday... Not go broke all in the name of vals day and then be unable to get me anything for the rest of the year... And i guess i have always been easy to please in that area.... Don't get me wrong, i'll love a gift... but sometimes just a simple note on a Post it that was handwritten touches me more.... But whatever... I guess what i am saying is: What's the big deal?

Why must we force our guys to spend their entire checking account on us? Honestly, truly, i love gifts (i have mentioned this before) But to be honest, i'd be uncomfortable collecting something really expensive from my guy.... My independent streak coming out, i guess... But girls, any guy can get you a gift. These days, they don't even have to pick the flowers (which i don't really like). All they need to do is call 1800flowers, give them their credit card # and your address, and thats it. I hate that. No emotion or anything behind it. I'd rather something as inexpensive as body scrub, as long as i know you went to the store (not your secretary) and really thought about what you wanted to get me. I guess my point is: Anyone can shower you with material things. Only one person (other than God, i guess) can shower you with true emotion. Think about that as you are opening your various gifts.

The Great Pull.

2008-01-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

I came across this a long time ago, probably early last year....... I have not looked at it in a while, but i came across it again today. I think this woman is very talented, and what she speaks on relates to every african who is not living in their home country right now. I hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

I was Hit On.

2008-01-27T21:34:00.000-05:00

Now, there is nothing extraordinary about this. Girls get hit on all the time. This situation, however, varied from the norm for me.

You see, i was hit on by a girl.
These are trying times, i must say.

So i am at work, chilling, trying to get some studying done. "Nutrition keystone #4: Blah blah blah..........."
I just wanted some damn nutrition. I had eaten just a bowl of Cheerios all day, and all this talk of carbohydrates and proteins was making me hungry.

In walks this girl into the dorm. Big boned looking fella. I think i have seen her at a game before, she's probably on the school band. She was carrying a lot of stuff, probably coming back to school after going home for the weekend.

She waved to me rather enthusiastically, and i thought it was strange (PS: excessive merriment makes me cranky) but i waved backed anyway, smiles and all. She wandered away from the lobby into the hallway. I went back to my books.

Phytochemicals are chemical substances that have no nutrient or caloric value but have......

"Excuse me."

I look up from my book, and there she is in a tank top and shorts. Normal.

"Uhuh?"

"Could you help me unhook my bra?"

Not normal.

"HUH?" My friends tell me i have a wierd habit of hearing off point sometimes. When my friend told me she thought her dad had cancer, i thought she said her dad had a blowjob. So i obviously assumed my ears were acting up.

"Can you help me unhook my bra?"

So you came all the way downstairs to the lobby for this? Hmm.

I helped her out, and she left. No wahala.

Estimated average requirements are estimates of the intake of a......

"Excuse me."

Sigh.

I look up, and she's there again, this time giving me a strange look.
"Can i help you with something?"
Now isn't that one of the stupidest things i have ever said.

"How long are you going to be here?"

"Till 5" i replied.

"Where do you live?"

"In breaux bridge"

That's a bloody lie, i stay 5 mins away from campus, not 5 towns away. I hate when random people ask me private questions like that. The same fear of stepping on money on the floor in nigeria lest i turn into yam enters me when people do that.

"I was just wondering what you like to do for fun"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOk.
"I personally like to sleep"
Ok, i made a typo earlier. I just said the stupidest thing ever.

"OOOO." She says, and then she starts rubbing her boobs against the desk.

"Urm, yeah."

"So would you like to hang out afterwards with me?"

"I'm sorry, i'm not feeling too well, i need to go home and take my medication"

"Aw, boo, i'm sorry" She cooed. "I can take care of you. You can come to my room at 5 when you get off work, and i'll put you at ease"

Then she comes around the desk and starts rubbing my back.
"Boy aint you a cutie"

The front door opens and we both look at who came in. A girl with blond hair and purple stripes stood there, a single tear running down her delicate and yet slightly odd face.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO STOP!"
"Baby, i wasn't doing anything, i was just talking to the worker"
"DO I LOOK STUPID TO YOU? I SAW THE WHOLE THING! HOW YOU RUBBED HER BACK AND ALL..... IT MAKES ME SICK!!! ITS OVER!!!!"
"baby please, lets just talk about it....."

I knew i should have called in sick today.

Promised gist continued.

2008-01-27T00:48:00.000-05:00

Certain people, whose name i shall refrain from mentioning (*cough cough paradigm cough*) have forced me off my sick bed to continue this saga. I can't comment on the post prior to this, but will continue my promised gist.

XMAS EVE.
The whole crew gathered in FB's house. Everyone was hungry, and so the girls were bullied into cooking. I managed to sweet talk my way out of it though, so Crazy and Zanzibar were stuck with it. FB kept on kidding with crazy, and we kept teasing zanzibar about some boy that she supposedly likes.
With chief and fb's brother chilling in another room, loverboi announced that he was leaving to go and pick up his friend that was coming down to spend some time with him. The rest of us curled up and watched a nigerian movie.
Loverboi bursts in
"S*** its cold! S*** S*** S***"
He curses a lot.
Stomped all over the welcome carpet with his tims, and then dragged in a befuddled character. "Yo, guys, this is my friend ola"
Fb came out with some alcohol, and everyone just chilled. The nigerian movie had finished. Zanzibar started singing "Lets go clubbing, lets go clubbing". Poor girl. She didn't get her wish though. Fb and ola drank some, and then forced loverboi to drink (he doesn't drink). I just satback, watching the whole thing. Immediately he drank, zanzibar was on his behind, harassing him for drinking, seeing as muslims are apparently not supposed to drink. Poor loverboi tried his hardest to defend himself. Chief then challenged him to recite some part of the Quran, which he failed woefully at. After a while, everyone stopped attacking him because fb suggested that the guys rate us girls based on our faces only. Yours truly scored an 8 outta 10 from all 3 guys (didn't i tell y'all i was fierce?). All this while, ola was silent, almost to silent. Then he burst into this tale of how he got into a cult in nigeria (in a very loud voice, i must say). By this time, it was already xmas day. He spent 3 hours on this story, literally. At a point, i could no longer feign interest, and went into the room and slept.

XMAS DAY.
I woke up at 4pm (that seemed normal to me, seeing as everyday we slept at like 5am). After chillind a lil bit, fb decided we should go to niagara. I was pretty excited. I got all dressed up, and packed my bags (you see, i was considering crossing the border back into the states via buffalo). But i decided against it, seeing as if they caught me sneaking in, i'd be deported back to naija. So anyway, fb, i, crazy, fb's bro and zanzibar got into the car and left. We dropped zanzibar off at the station, and made our way down to niagara.

When we finally got there, we ended up at some guy's house. His name will be emeka. We walked into the house, and fb introduced me to emeka. I would soon learn that this was the guy who liked zanzibar and whom zanzibar liked. As i walked into the room, emeka introduced me to his gf, hope. She gave me such a mean stare, i immediately started thinking "oh my goodness, have i met this girl before? have i been mean to her in some other life?"

Fb, then told me that we were actually going to the casino at the falls. We popped into a house down the road to see some of his other friends. Then emeka got into his car and us into ours and we left. Fb's bro stayed behind. At the casino, i decided i was hungry for steak (it was like 1am). Crazy and i wanted to go and look for a restaurant, but i guess fb didn't want us going alone, and so he asked hope to go with us. Let me backtrack a lil. When we were walking in the complex, hope was clutching emeka. Literally. I'm serious. Not the cute lets-hold-hands-cuz-we-are-in-love thingy. No. The whole elbows interlocked thing, like if she let go, he would immediately have sex with the next girl passing. It was extremely funny to crazy and i. So anyway, emeka and fb ask her to go with us, but she kept insisting she wanted to stay with them. Now, she is a sweet girl and all (we had chatted a lil bit, we are in the same major and are both pre-med). But this was ridic. You could tell that fb and emeka wanted to have their own man time, but she down right refused to leave him. Even fb was like "look at me, i no resemble woman, i won't fap your man". But she still refused. At this point, i was tired of waiting, so crazy and i just walked off. Then i found out that emeka likes zanzibar, but has no clue how to leave his gf. Apparently they fight a lot. Whatever.

Crazy calls her friend to come and meet us there. Her name will be rhonda. She came along with fb's bro,and we all got along great. So as we were about to go to a restaurant, fb called and said they were done. When they met up with us, crazy introduced emeka and hope to rhonda. Hope gave rhonda a stare so evil i was immediately worried for her safety......

We got back to emeka's house, and we were all chilling. Crazy was supposed to stay behind and spend the night with rhonda, so i decided to help move her stuff to the car. All of a sudden, i hear a loud crash, and i rush into emeka's room, only to see this HUGE hole in the wall. Needless to say i was shocked. The next couple minutes passed in a blur. Next thing i remember is getting to fb's friend's house down the road, because hope stormed out and started walking down the road in the freezing cold at like 2am. I got her to come back, and she was like she was going to fly out first thing in the morning. I was not up for any unecessary drama, so we all went to fb's house down the street. I was very very tired, at this point. Emeka stayed back in his house, but hope came with us. In the house, i met this guy calvin who said it was ok if i slept in his room. I was soo happy, i curled up and slept. It was like 4am. At this time, fb was talking to hope to calm her down, and crazy had left. Clavin was nice enough to leave the room and turn off the lights for me.

Sometime later, calvin came back. He turned on the light and went on his laptop. I was too tired to care and i went back to sleep. Then he got on the same bed i was on. Note that this was a twin bed (those really narrow ones meant for only ONE person). I was too tired to care anyhow, and simply thought that he was one of those guys that are not chilvarous enough to take the floor and let me have the bed. So i slept back. Then he turned off the light.

After a while, i felt his feet rubbing up on mine. I was like no biggie, the bed is very small anyway. Then i felt a hand going up my waist and under my shirt. I sat up so quick, i am sure he was scared. I was soooooooooooooooo disgusted, even remembering it now disgusts me. This guy seemed really nice, we even gisted cos we have a mutual close friend (i discovered). I sat up in the darkness, thinking for some seconds. I didn't want to make a scene, and besides, no one knew i was down there in his room. So i asked him where my jacket was, and he pointed to his closet. I was stumbling around cos i was dead tired, and so he turned on the lights. I picked up my coat, my handbag, and said that i was going to find fb and left the room. I went upstairs, and found hope awake in one of the rooms. I went in and collapsed beside her on the bed. Clavin came there seconds after and asked "have you foung fb yet?" and i was like yeah, thanks. Bastard.

I had like 4 hours sleep and then by like 9am we left for Oshawa. Back to my peeps jare.

More drama was coming up though......

????????

2008-01-23T15:33:00.000-05:00

I came out of my last class, and after chilling with some friends, i decided to wait for my bro in the lib. Did the usual, checked my facebook, email, etc..... I was also bothered about the pains i feel in my bones.... maybe i should go and see a doctor... little did i know i was in for a shock.

Read it the first time.

Walked away.

Light bulb came on.

Went back.

Read it again.
Suddenly things started clicking. So many things that it seems it can't be a coincidence, or my paranoia. Little things that i never picked up on before.

Could it?

Could it???????
Ewelemo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've got to say though, i have a pretty interesting life. But i was sure not expecting this curve ball.

Then my bro called. I got out of my daze, got up, and walked to the car.

The pains in my bones intensified (i really should go to the doctor).
Got home.
Read it again.

Could it be???

If it is, then i can feel the shock giving way to pleasant suprise. I definitely was not expecting this, but i am happy though. I guess that's God's way of steering you away from a situation in which He knows you would have made a bad decision. How you have done what you have done so far, i don't know, but i sure do admire you for it, that's for sure.

Now, if i am wrong, oh well...... Ce la vi :D (did i spell that right? whatever jare....)

I am still in shock, and now i am beginning to feel feverish, so i am going to lie down. But if what i think is true, then thank you. Seriously.

Promised Gist continued.

2008-01-22T20:50:00.000-05:00

We walk towards his car. I am still trying to take in the whole situation.
"Nice car" I said. He laughed. Immediately we clicked. He opened his trunk and looked in: no space for my load. We struggled to put my stuff in, and i saw him wincing. "What's wrong?" *concern nicely placed on my face* "I broke my hand a couple weeks back" Apparently he jacked some guy in a club for being a jerk. I was kinda hoping at this point that my ex did not hook me up with a mad person, for revenge and such (i should blog about my ex one day, did i mention he still claims to be madly in love with me, even though i broke up with him last september?)

We got into the car, and then he gave me this tour of oshawa. We went around his school. Typical nigerian, they can sell almost anything to you. He made his school so wonderful i was actually tempted to look into transferring. Finally we got to his house. Nice. It was freezing cold, and i was eager to get out. We dragged my stuff into the house, and then he promptly said we should go shopping. We got some food, and some alcohol (Baileys) and then settled down with some warm food, a glass of Baileys, and a nigerian movie. I had not felt such peace in days. And the fact that i had not one piece of eye candy, but two (he and his brother share the apartment) made life so much sweeter. I believe i fell asleep with a smile on my face. Finally, it seemed like stuff was getting better.

Saturday.
*Some events have been left out due to, urm, basically i want to avoid drama.
I woke up in the afternoon. Called to find out if my document had come in, but no one picked up the house phone. Hmm. Oh well. I crawled out of bed and took a shower. FB walks in and shouts "we are going to the movies tonight!" And i'm like ok? *i was amazed at his enthusiasm.*
I lay down like late afternoon to watch a nigerian movie, and then hear this horrible sound. It sounded at first like a bird was being strangled, or it had sore throat. The sound was coming nearer and nearer, and i becase apprehensive for no reason. The door popped open, and a guy (presumably the bird with the sore throat) pokes his head through the door. "Oh, sorry, i thought FB was in here" He appeared flustered, and then shut the door. Poor guy. He was not expecting someone as fabulous as me on the other side of the door.

Fb comes into the room to take me somewhere. He doesn't tell me where. We walk down the street, FB, The bad voice guy, and me. We enter this fabulous house, and then i am promptly told that this is where i will be staying because 3 other girls are coming down. I immediately thought that FB was arranging a menage a trois, but i dispelled the notion. I smiled and kept quiet, evaluating the singer dude. We went upstairs, and his room was decked out, complete with a jacuzzi and such. But i was to take another room (drats!). The singer dude kept shooting glances at me when i thought i was not looking (what can i say? remember, i am fabulous :D). As we were leaving, Taxi (that movie with the austin powers dude and queen latifah) was on the tv downstairs. Seeing as i love the movie, i waited there for FB (he was trying to rent a magnum from one of his friends). The singer guy, noticing my interest in the movie, asked me if i knew the movie, and i was like yeah, its good. I could tell he didn't believe me, and i was like "what do you know sucker?" Not out loud, of course. No need to unleash my madness on these unsuspecting folks.

FB finally introduced singer guy as Loverboi. I barely shook his hand, or paid much attention to him. We went back to FB's house, and they left to go and pick up one of the girls. I took a short nap. It was 6pm.

When i woke up, there was commotion. FB and his brother were fighting. Loverboir was laughing violently at one guy, whom i shall call Chief. A girl was in the house, whom i shall call C. It was 8.30pm. We got ready finally, and went to watch I Am Legend. I got on immediately with C, and the guys sat elsewhere in the theatre. When the movie was over, FB was no where to be seen. He had no phone with him, so we were stuck at the theatre. I am still in a daze from the whole situation. C was arguing with loverboi about some dumb movie, while FB's brother, Chief and i were just chilling, dying of hunger. Finally in walked FB with 2 girls, whom i shal call Crazy (FB's gf) and Zanzibar (Crazy's friend). He was also with V, some guy i had met earlier in FB's house that asked me out on the spot. I think i told him i was gay.

We went clubbing (an experience i have blogged about earlier) and then we went back to FB's house. Then all of us: Chief, Loverboi,FB, FB's brother, V, C, Crazy, Zanzibar, and I all fell asleep in the same room. I remember falling asleep in Loverboi's arms.

I will continue this later, i am having a killer headache.....

I am

2008-01-21T00:59:00.000-05:00

Beginning to fall for you

Loverboi.

And it scares the hell out of me.

Rut.

2008-01-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

I always feel this way when i get back to school.
My holidays are always so adventurous that by the time i get back to this small ass town, i feel like a part of me has been shut down till the next holiday.

And i realized why.
I am bored.
Not bored in the traditional sense. I am bored of my friends.
You see, in my school, the afroamericans and the afros don't mix well
my close friends are nigerians
but seeing as we have only 6 nigerian girls here
you don't get much variety
and variety is the spice of life.

So, i thought to myself yesterday while i was on the phone with loverboi at like 4am: I feel like i am in a rut because my friends don't fit me anymore.
I know, that sounds wierd, but its the truth. I have this absolute craving to meet new people, do stuff i really want to do (most of my friends here will just be content chilling at home).

The thing is, on my campus, its really hard to meet new people if you don't live on campus. I am not about to move into the dorms and give up my own space (i am very paranoid about my space). Some people suggested class, but i usually have just 2 thoughts when i am in class: "oo this is interesting" or "oo when can i leave this place?"

So yeah. I need a gameplan. This is serious people. I am tired of having an absolutely exciting holiday only to come back and feel like i hit a brick wall, and then feel like i am in suspended animation till may and then get the hell out. So, any ideas? Keep in mind that i am taking 7 classes, chair 3 organisations, and work 20 hours a week.

PS: did i mention i had this wierd ass dream about some guy who kept attacking all the comments i made on people's blogs and the whole of blogsville noticed the enmity but i had no clue who the person was and then we ended up dating? i didn't? ok, now you know :D

Forgiveness.

2008-01-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

Its funny how DL and i are writing about the same things... probably because we are going through similar situations.

I have discover a couple of things over the past weeks about forgiveness, and i did not want to write about this, but i think it is time......

Forgiveness, first and foremost, is a DECISION. You can pray from now till your dad grows a golden nike beard, and nothing will happen. God will only give you the DESIRE to forgive, but He cannot, or should i say will not, plant some incandescent happiness and mellowness in your heart regarding someone else. Sometimes we think (or i think) that when i have forgiven someone, it will happen like a SNAP, like some magical thing. But it does not work that way.

People harbor unforgiveness because of what other people have done to them. Some have been betrayed, hurt, lied to, in fact, insert what you may. And people around us do not help, as they only reiterate reasons why we should not forgive, in fact, why we are ENTITLED to be angry.

I have come to the understanding that God commanded us to forgive for one reason: Unforgiveness eats away at your life. Seriously. Think about all the ways harboring your unforgiveness has hampered you. You may have lost certain people in your life. You are uncomfortable when the person you are angry with is around. You can't even enjoy yourself when the person is there. Sometimes, you even dislike some friends you currently have because they are friends with the one who hurt you. And the list goes on.

Isn't it time you break free? First of all, contrary to what we think, the fact that we have not forgiven someone does not hamper THEIR lifestyle in anyway. They are still having fun, living their lives and such. We are the ones who get all hot under the collar when we think about or see them.

Don't you just want to let go? It actually takes a whole lot of energy to hold onto the hurt someone has done to us. I realised that. Some things in my life experience would warrant unforgiveness, but it just took a toll on me, trying to keep up the anger and the hate and just trying to bury the whole thing. I found that you cannot bury hurt, you can only disguise it to yourself, but it never really goes away until you tell it to. I found that the reason i did not want to forgive was because i was scared. I was scared of the hurt i'd feel if i revisited the many situations in my life. But i decided to be brave and face it. And i sat down in my room, and talked to myself. Seriously. Talked to myself, and thought through everything logically. And i felt this enormous relief when i was done, like a lightness in my heart. If i had known this a long time ago, i would have done this. I feel so good (well, i have always felt good, but this was a different kind of good).

Lastly, i want to say that forgiveness is all about YOU. Forgiveness does not help the person you are angry with, and yes, it will help you get in the good books with your maker, but ultimately, its all about YOU. YOU are the one that will experience a peace like no other. YOU are the one that God will bless. YOU are the one who will live a better life (because face it people, it eats away at you). So while you may hear or see things that indicate that you should forgive because of reasons that do not pertain to you in anyway, realise that the ultimate reason you should forgive is because of YOU.

Think about this for a second. We have had a few situations in our life that have caused us pain. Yet God asks us to forgive, as He forgives our sin. Do you think He said that just to be holier than thou? No. God, in His infinite wisdom, took a page out of His own, should i say, life, and gave us the key to living in peace. God realised (or should i say knew) that man would sin against him, and that it would hurt him. There are over 3 billion people in the world, all of whom he loves dearly, all of whom sin against him everyday (me included). So, he could choose to hang on to that pain. Pain multiplied by 3 billion, occuring at the rate of a millisecond. If that were you, you would die (people die of pain, seriously). So he realised that the smart thing to do was just to forgive everytime we ask for it, instead of hanging on to all the pain (hanging on to all that pain would really be a bummer for him, considering the fact that he is awesome and all). Think of unforgiveness as a light dimmer: the more hurt we harbor, the less our light is (and i don't mean light as in holiness, i mean light as in our happiness, joy, our very being) until we cannot stand it anymore.Abi you think people just fall into depression all will nilly?

So, to all those out there, you are not alone. It really is a problem, unforgiveness. I still harbor some regarding certain situations, but i am getting there, and i know you can too.

To HER.

2008-01-18T22:00:00.000-05:00

In the process of my journey in life
I have realised a couple things
Come out of a couple misgivings
This has been long overdue

I am sorry.
I really am
From the bottom of my heart.
For the pain i caused you
It took a while for me to admit to myself the gravity of what i had done

I should have done this a while ago
But wisdom spoke against it
It was not the right time
Now however, i have heard another tune

I have caused you pain
I did not mean to
But that does not change anything
The deed was done
And i have done something that goes against my very core
I have violated my own principles
And i think that the fact that i did through me into autopilot for a while

I have forgiven myself for that
And now i am asking for your own forgiveness
While i do not expect it, i still implore it
I have disrespected you in every way a woman can disrespect another woman
And i am deeply sorry
I hope that one day, you can look at me, and smile
Genuinely smile
And feel no pain

I thought of many ways i could write this.
The many ways i could use tear jerking words to move you
And i decided against it
I want your genuine forgiveness
Because i am genuinely sorry
So refuse to stoop that low
I have already stooped low by doing what i did to you
I refuse, REFUSE, to go there again
So i am writing plainly what i feel
I am sorry, Period.

Promised Gist.

2008-01-17T02:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, i know i promised a couple of people gist a while ago... Let me explain why it has not been forthcoming. Some of the people involved may be able to see my blog, and unselfish ass that i am, i don't want to affect their lives. Its kinda annoying because i am past all this, and i want to keep my word, but oh well... But i will talk about it, one day, when i am sure the coast is clear :)
For now, i will start from what happened a little while after that.....

I mentioned a while back i was stranded in canada. Let me explain what i mean by that. My student visa had expired, and was not renewed because i did not have the original of a certain document. I asked my bro to send it, and he sent it by regular mail. TO CANADA. Please don't ask me why he did that, because i don't know. So, my perfect little holiday, all planned out and stuff, turned into a slight nightmare for a while. Little did i know what God had in mind for me. If i had not been stranded, i would not have met some of the most wonderful people i have ever met in my life. 4 Boys, 3 girls, all equally awesome :)

Thursday night(back then): I wanted to leave. Immediately. Bags all packed, jacket on, cab called. My phone rings.

H: Hello?
O: H, what is going on now?
H: mehn, i have this feeling that if i don't leave this house, some serious stuff is going to go down, and me i don tire for all this drama, seriously.
O: have you called him?
H: yeah, he is ok with me coming right now. he'll pick me up.
O: I don't think you should leave right now. its late at night. why don't you wait till tomorrow?
H: i'll think about it.

Every nerve in my body wanted to leave before he came back from work..... but common sense dictated otherwise. O was right, its too late at night to start travelling to somewhere i don't know. I'll wait till tomorrow morning....

Friday morning: I woke up feeling better than i had felt in a long time. My conscience was clear, i had forgiven myself. So i did something against my very being. So what? I am human, i am allowed to screw up. I realised that the real screw up would be not learning from my experience. The most important thing was to focus on getting my stuff and getting back to the US.

I asked for the mail to be checked. i was told solemnly that my document had not yet come in. DRATS! Oh well, whatever. I used the time i had waiting for the taxi to chat with my friend online.

M: so he is just going to let you go like that?
H: girl, no one lets me go, no one controls me. I made this decision all by myself.
M: but where are you going to go?
H: oshawa.
M: who do you know there?
H: my ex hooked me up with some guy there
M: your friend is an ass
H: na u know
M: sha let me know what is going on
H:

Taxi came, finally! I grabbed my 2 boxes, my laptop, and my purse, and out the door i went. The sun was out, the first time in days. I took this as a good sign. As i clabbered into the taxi, i thought "finally, i am away from this mess. Now i can get myself together and have some rest"

Taxi dropped me off at the station Freshboi told me to come to. I looked around. No guy to flirt with and ask them to carry my boxes. Shit. Bought my ticket, and settled down with my harry potter and the deathly hallows......

An hour later, i arrived at Oshawa, ON. I chilled for a while, waiting for freshboi. I kept looking around for a black boy (i was the only black person there). After like 45 mins, this guy walks up to me. I'm thinking "Finally, things are taking a turn in my life. I have not seen a guy this fine for a while." He says "H?" with a tilt to his head. I nod in agreement, glee in my throat. "I am Freshboi. Let's go"

And that was how God turned my life around at a time i thought things could not get worse.........

To be continued (Hopefully)

So i was tagged

2008-01-14T13:13:00.000-05:00

I was tagged (i was suprised, thanks paradigm!)
so here goes..

Two Names you go by:

hmmmm.......:P

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. My glasses (which i hate so much, let me get of my lazy behind and get my contacts.
2. a shirt and no bra (bliss!)

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1.honesty and friendship
2. respect
yes, for me, love aint everything. i'd rather be respected.

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. sleep :D
2. dance dance dance...

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. food (i need to go to that kitchen)
2. to be back in MD, or oshawa...:P

Two pets you had/have:
Urm, we never had one... actually, we had one. my aunt bought it from near falomo bridge. we cleaned it, fed it, named it (cant remember the name) but it cried all night and so the next morning my mum returned it (she hates dogs).
Now we all don't do animals..:D

Two people you think will fill this out:
1. Little miss me (but she already has, drats!)
2. nameless poetical (who probably has)

Two thigs you did last night:
1. Unpacked
2. Ate chinese and spoke to loverboi :)

Two things you ate last night:
1. Chinese (didn't i mention that before?)
2. just chinese :D

Two people you last talked to:
1. My childhood friend who has been making some "lets go out moves toward me." Gotta love him.....
2. Loverboi
omg, do i talk to females at all???? that must be addressed immediately.....

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Go and hunt Mrs. Bulliard down (i want my scholarship dammit!)
2. Visit all my friends i have not seen since.... and them cook.

Two longest car rides:
1.Lafayette to virginia.... took 2 days....
2.Osun to lagos... or oshawa to ottawa... can't remember jare....

Two favourite holidays:
Anytime i am not in school jare... but i have to say mardi gras and SUMMER!

Favourite Beverages:
1. Arizona iced tea
2. A turtle mochassippi with chocolate, vanilla and irish cream with whipped cream (its coffee people)

Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to:
1. My grandmother on my mother's side...i never really got close to her....

now who the hell can i tag? ok, pug'd truth be told (gotta love her), desperate lady (probably already tagged), little miss me (already tagged, oh well), rethots, afunto baby

A message sent to my friend.

2008-01-08T13:38:00.000-05:00

how far.and how are u adjusting to the claimatic condition and how is the wealther treating you overthere.well not bad with me too.i am tola by name and am from Nigeria, Though miles may lie between us,but we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart moreso Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.and Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another.
.am also a tall person by 6fit i like outing meeting people reading and sport.i was like wow when i saw ur pics and i was very gratify simply bcos u look beautifull Your imperfections are what make you beautiful and i will be very glad if both of us can know each others better moreso u can get me with my yahoo messanger name lati_tola
looking 4ward to ur reply

age is nothing but a number i believe in understanding

Tola

Feel free to laugh your heart outat our fellow nigerian man.

Eclipse

2008-01-03T02:01:00.001-05:00

The night is young
Nigh' high in the sky
Feel the breeze

Let it move and caress your soul
the rythms of the night
forever together, inseperable byzantine concepts
the outcome of funny situations
laughable,plaudable, yet unecessary
the innocent are washed with the filth of the guilty

Many sensations
vibrations
gyrations
the gratifying desire
do not look back
lest be turned into a pillar of salt
forge onward
that is the only way to true success.

~Honeywell.

So fresh and so clean.

2007-12-30T17:13:00.000-05:00

If i thought my holiday could not get any more interesting..... i was wrong.

Dead wrong.

This is what happened to me today.

I slept at like 6am this morning...... got up at 4pm this afternoon...I looked around....Jydo was not here, and neither was timo. Oh well. I stretched and reached for my lappy... No interesting mail. Oh well, let me go and take a shower and then figure out how to get a car for my trip to ottawa tomorrow....

I grabbed my lappy and plugged it in the bathroom. Glanced at the jacuzzi and thought i will be with you soon my love.
I started blasting music and i got into the shower. Washed my hair (this boy's shampoo smells awesome) and started soaping down. Amy Winehouse's Rehab started, and i crooned along. They tried to make me go to rehab and i said no no no

POLICE!!!!

I was like wtf are these guys doing?
I continued singing in the shower

POLICE!!!!! OPEN THE DOOR AND COME OUT!!
honeywell: you guys stop now, i told you i had the shower first, i am almost done.

LOUD CRASH.

GET OUT OF THE SHOWER NOW!!

I peeked through the curtain and i saw i gun

amy winehouse: i don't ever want to drink again.... I just.. i just neeed a friend....

honeywell: jydo where the hell did you get a gun

COME OUT RIGHT NOW OR WE ARE COMING IN!!!

I peeked out further and saw a white hand attached to the gun. With soap suds all over me, i grabbed my towel and walked out of the shower. 2 white policemen with bullet proof vests tossed a blanket and some shoes at me. Follow me please....

amy winehouse: they tried to make me go to rehab but i said no no no

I'm like what the hell is going on?
I walk outside with the police man. The cold air immediately froze all the soap suds on me. I looked around, and saw 7 cop cars. SEVEN. Oh my goodness...

I was shoved into one of the cars and had it locked when i got in. I looked over and saw one of jydo's roomates, zane, in the other car. Oh lord, don't tell me someone in this house does drugs oh, i cannot afford to have a police record.

I started laughing in the car. Then i realised it is not a good sign to be laughing by myself in a police car, so i calmed down. Then i started talking to myself. I then realised that does not look good either, so i stopped. I decided to take stock of the situation. 3 nigerians, 4 pakistani. Oh my goodness, 3 black people and 4 terrorists. I am in it today.

I peeked outside the car. Neighbours where taking pictures. Jydo was handcuffed, and so was timo. Fresh boi and fresh boi's brother came out of their house and walked past the car i was in. I waved, and fresh boi was so shocked he slipped on ice and fell right in the middle of the road. I laughed my ass off..
A police guy came to the car to get my information
Police: what's your name?
Honeywell: Honeywell.......
Police: Address?
Honeywell: xxxxxxxxx
Police: What are you doing in canada all the way from louisiana?
Honeywell: why do people keep asking me this question for crissakes?
He then told me that someone called in and said some kind of road rage was going on and that someone in a black bmw pointed a gun.
Honeywell: my my my, that's just to bad *fluttering eyelashes*

What, the guy was cute!

Police: Well, we will be releasing you soon so that you can finish your shower. We are not assholes..... ok, we are.. but we will let you finish your shower.
Honeywell: Why, thank you!

I was later released, after which i was now friends with mark, timothy and andy (the cops)
Policemen: Have a good one!
Honeywell: Bye y'all! Happy new year!

There is nothing i have not seen in canada. First boy and girl wahala, then near homelessness, then trips to 4 different cities in the space of 3 days, parties, a near collision with a truck, and now this. Happy New Year people!

7 Wierd things

2007-12-30T02:20:00.000-05:00

I have been seeing this all over blogsville, and i decided to do mine while i am waiting for this xxx to wake up :D

1. I hate yoghurt. Absolutely hate it. Muiiler or Yoplait or whatever it is, sugared up, strawberried and all, i still hate it. Gimme some goddamn ice cream any day :)

2. I don't really react to cute babies, or babies, period. Seriously. When girls are like "Oh, he's so cute!" or "Ain't she precious!", i just give the recommended hmms and ahhs, but to be honest, i don't feel a damn thing. I don't hate them or anything like that, not at all. I just to feel the same excitement and euphoria everyone else seems to feel.

3. I rebound quickly. Its wierd. And when i mean rebound, i mean i can be mad belligerent one second, and all smiles the next. No matter how bad someone hurts me, i still find it in me to find something good about them and want to forgive them, contrary to what my brain and my imagination wants to do.......but i guess that's a good thing....

4. I think old people are cute. Seriously. Not cute as in hot, but cute the same way people think babies are cute.

5. I talk to myself often. I talk myself through situations (i honestly prefer my own advice to anyone else's). I talk to myself sometimes when walking when i am trying to organise the 5 million things i have to do. I talk out loud to myself when i am alone and i am trying to rationalize a situation, or look it at from another person's perspective. Since i am the most interesting person i know, how can i help not talk to myself? hehehe......

6. I love the smell of gas (or fuel, anyone you prefer). I don't know why. Especially gas stations in naija..... Ah, bliss.....

7. I really hate eavesdropping. Seriously. And i know some people dont mind listening in, but i think mine is extreme.When someone is on the phone beside me, i block my mind to them, so i don't hear what they are saying. Even when drama is unfolding right in front of me, except i am told "honeywell, you can stay, honestly" i'd rather not stay. Let's just say i have a paranoid fear of invading people's privacy (probably because i hate when people are all up in my business when i did not invite them in).

ok, let's make it 8.

8. I sometimes crave isolation. Badly. When i am in school, i hate people being in my house for too long or too often because sometimes i just badly need my own space.....If i need company, shebi i will go out? I love hanging out with friends, i really do, but sometimes i get hit with this incredible need to be by myself.... just go home, eat, get some ice cream (Strawberry shortcake) and curl up under the covers and watch tv......

ok, so i lied. 9.

9. I sleep extremely well when it is raining. Every time it rains, i never know till i wake up. I sleep best when it is raining. I don't know why. Wierd huh?

On another note, this year has been extremely interesting. I had to grow up in a lot of ways, and i am definitely not the person i was at the beginning of this year, seriously. My thinking has definitely changed. I will talk about it all soon (i know i have been promising gist, but like i said, i have to obtain copyright for some of it). As soon as i recover from the disease of laziness, i will start. Happy New year people!

The Big Sexy.

2007-12-26T02:33:00.000-05:00

So i landed in oshawa, CA.

My esteemed friends decided that it was time that we go out and have some fun.....After all, when you have 4 girls and 6 boys in one house, everyone will want to shake bodi.....:D

So. This is how the night went.

We dressed up (which took 4 hours, i have never seen such guys that behave like housewives before. They even bicker over cologne for crissakes). Then we all piled into 4 cars and drove to toronto. When we got there, we girls were craving shawarma, so we got some. We hit a party there, but the guys RANDOMLY had a sudden craving to watch I AM LEGEND, so we started driving back to oshawa. Stupidity upon stupidity. Girls screaming, guys shouting....aaahh, bliss....:D

We got to the theatre and watched the movie. Was good, i must say. And then all of a sudden, Fresh boi says: LETS GO TO BIG SEXY.

I'm like "wth is big sexy?"

I was apparently about to find out.

We wandered round the whole down town looking for parking. We finally found some kind spot, and we proceeded to fall out of the car (yes, someone actually fell out) and started walking in the cold to the club. We got there, and we lined up outside. Looked around, no fine guys (shit!), but i still held hope for the heaven within. The guys behind us, we walked up to the bouncer. He looks at my license. "You are from Louisiana? What are you doing here?" Like southerners cannot come to canada. Hidiot oshi. But moving on....

So i walk in (one of the girls ran in when the girl collecting the money was not looking), and the music causes my eardrums to give out for some seconds. It was way too loud. After my ears adjusted, i realised that the club had white people. A whole lot of white people. I don't have anything against white people, i have just accepted the fact that my soul craves dark chocolate, not white chocolate. So, we sidled over to a corner on some stage like thing, and survey the large room. People gyrating in no certain manner, to a song that made no sense. Seriously. All i heard was "thump thump thump thump thump thump" with the occasional screaming. My friend gives me this look like "wth are we doing here" and i shrug and sigh.
The guys come up, looking hot, and went to get us some drinks. I sip mine, and i looked around the room again. Noticed 2 girls in some cage trying very hard to be sexy but failing woefully. They grinded each other, grinded themselves, went to the floor, came back up, grinded the metal pole, all to no avail (poor chiquitas).

We moved back down, and decided if you can't beat them, join them. So we start dancing, all the while making fun of people. There was this one boy and girl. The boy kept bouncing. Right Left Right Left Right Left Right Left. The girl that was supposed to be grinding him was going left right left right left right left right. Needless to say, it was hilarious (I wonder why white people can't dance. But that is for another blog).
I saw this fine dude, and i waved and winked. He came over, and we chatted a little, but i soon discovered that my girls did not like my male attention. They literally pulled me away. I was not upset, i couldn't hear anything he was saying anyway (am i the only one that does the occasional chuckle and demure smile when i can't hear?). I sip my drink again, and stop dancing to survey the club some more. It struck me then that all the black guys in the club were standing still, and only the white people were moving. I laughed so hard i choked on my drink.

The Dj apparently decided to have mercy on us, and started playing southern music (i'd crank that soulja boy any day). However, Jay Z in a high pitched voice does not exactly get my hips rocking, but we made do anyway. After a while, we got our groove going. While i was in the zone, some guy sidled up behind me and started grinding me. Now, all through the night, people had been rude to us (shoving past us, almost knocking us down, or leering at us). So, this action being the straw that broke the camel's back, i turned, leaned in seductively and whispered "if you come near me again, i think you might loose your opportunity to make babies"

Then they started playing reggae. I stopped to catch my breath, only to see some strange things. An old white lady (say late 40's) was gyrating all over the place in no certain way, slapping people with her extra long hair. Did i mention she was slightly obese? Also, this one guy and girl on my left were "dancing". Let me explain. He was grinding her hard, like, painfully hard, and had an arm around her neck. The girl was turning blue, so i walked over to the guy and told him to let go, the poor girl was being strangled. After he let go, he grabbed her breasts furiously and continued. Sigh. Anyway, one other poor girl was being sandwich between 5 guys. They kept tapping her so bad she fell on the floor. As in, fell hard.

When the club closed, we all got into the car, went home, and started watching a movie. All in all, a fun night.

For Patrick and all Others

2007-12-22T19:08:00.000-05:00

I remember when you used to kiss me

Silent communication, telling me you love me with your kiss because you were too afraid to say it out loud.

You'd hold my

face softly, gently, like it was something very precious.

Your hand would go down to my abs, softly stroking, loving, caressing

I'd break off the kiss, and disappoinment flashes across your face

Soon to be replaced by ecstasy as i kiss your most erotic place.

You kiss my neck and go down from there

Caress my breasts, roll your thumb around and around and around and around and around

Until i can stand it no more and i mount and offer my breast to you.

As a peace offering.

You smile, and accept my offering.

Sweet wetness, photons of joy

I try to control my moaning.

Determined to push me over, you go down

Kissing my abs

down

down

down......

Till you are almost there

Then you kiss around it

Inside my inner thigh

I beg you to stop

You look up and smile

You turn your attention to my other thigh

Anticipation is almost unbearable

Then you stop all motion

And stare into my eyes

A beautiful mixture of love and lust

You tell me with your eyes what your mind refuses you to say with your lips

And then you go in for the finale............

~Honeywell.

GIST!!!!!

2007-12-21T22:32:00.000-05:00

Ok, there is a lot i really want to talk about... These past couple of weeks have been crazy (i hinted about it in my previous post). But i don't have the time right now. The guy that my ex hooked me up with is HOT!!!!! Yesu Christi! But i must hold myself, so as not to cause more drama.... But as soon as i can, i will give the full story..... Right now, i am enjoying the $100 Irish Cream he bought for me, while my ex squirms with jealousy...:D Merry Christmas Everyone!

Denial.

2007-12-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, is it just me, or is it really the best thing to face a problem square on?

All my life, i have met people who absolutely refuse to deal with a problem unless they have no other option. As long as their legs are working, they will keep running. Even when they get paralysed, their speed in a wheelchair will rival a nascar racer any day.

I don't understand it. I am not a confrontational person by nature. I just truly believe that the best way to deal with a problem is to deal with it. Face it square on. Let me give an example.

I had this friend, a girl (no one does drama like a girl). We had been friends for 2 years. Her entire family here in the states knows me, her mom knows me, i have stayed at her cousins place for a whole summer and the whole of last xmas. So when she started giving me attitude last xmas, i was like wtf? but i talked to her about it, and we were cool.

Then summer came along, and she stared misbehaving. I tried talking to her, but it did not help. Seeing as we were 5 girls in the house, i did not feel a pressing need to cling at her side. So i simply ignored the behavior. I left her house after summer school was over, and she was all nice and sweet at the airport. Then for 2 weeks, no word from her..... (From someone who basically used to stalk me with phone calls). Weeks turned into months. Now, i did call her once in a while, but she never picked up. Left voice messages, asking her to talk about it, but to no response.

I remember this funny day. I was at a baby shower (seeing as there was alcohol, i think it was a party, but you know how we naija people do). I was in the car, about to go to the after party, when she sends me a txt saying that ok, she is now ready to talk about my grieviances. I was like heifer, i dont know what you are talking about. I have been trying to contact you for over 2 months, and this is the response i get. That episode sha ended.

So one fine sunday evening, while curled up, watching a recap of ANTM, i called her, and to my suprise, she picked. She started with the how are you hon and all that business. I was like ok, let's cut to the chase. What is the problem (i hate pretending like there is no problem when there clearly is one). To my chagrin (it actually made me laugh), she could not remember why she was mad at me. So i was like ok, you have not spoken to me in over 4 months for a reason you cannot remember, correct? I don't understand people sometimes. A simple conversation a long time ago would have solved all this.

So yeah. My point is: no matter how daunting it may be, try talking your problems out. At the end of the day, one usually finds out that it was not such a big deal after all.

~Honeywell.

Rant. Hehehe.

2007-12-20T23:48:00.000-05:00

I am stuck in canada.
Me, a loving southerner, stuck in canada.

I know i said i always wanted to see snow, but it is enough now, chai!
I am stuck in canada, and i can't wait to get back to MD.
I miss my family and my friends.

Meanwhile, not only am i stuck here, i am stuck in the sickest love triangle ever.
And we are all under the same roof.

When i get out of here, i will definitely write about it. Probably make a story out of it.
Being stuck in a strange country under the same roof with members of the same love triangle and being rescued by my ex who is still madly in love with me should make for a good read :D

PS: the funny thing is, she really is a sweetheart..... but like i said, full gist comes later!

2007-12-17T08:16:00.000-05:00

The Eyes cannot wait for the day to look back and laugh
and snort
and giggle
With the help of the Nose
After a while, all cherished things become a blur
As the Brain makes space for the next encounter
As boy meets girl.

~Honeywell

2007-12-17T08:02:00.000-05:00

So sick of apologising
Trying to explain away Stuff
Being made the bad guy because of all this

How is it my fault?
Why should I be blamed?
No apologies have been heard
No attempt at understanding observed
Left to do damage control
When it isn't my fault

Left to deal with the irritation
Left out in the cold with no one except a plastic smile

"More reconstructive surgery I see.... please pass the anaesthesia"

Tried again to see if I could get some sympathy for my plight
But all I got was a smack on my skin and a plastic smile
What do you expect? Mannequins are just empty shells

The Spewing of selfish pronouns would make any narcissist proud
Don't hate me, don't walk out of my life
No, everything in me is revulsed by your presence.
A clown can be a demon underneath

Maybe I'll be back. Maybe I won't.
Makes no difference anyway
I have finally gotten my peace back
I won't be decieved by you again.

~Honeywell.

GIVE

2007-12-12T20:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, i have never been big on Christmas (fake people smiling, drug dealers dressing up as santa to make some money for more dope, excessive, superficial merriment)
But my opinion is not what counts right now... We get so caught up in our lives and the drama that is living that we forget that people have more struggles than we do..... the guy that begs for change at the corner might not need to it for drugs, he might need it for the last meal he might have before he gets shot in gang crossfire... the little girl that you see everyday on the train that smiles at you may actually dread going home because she knows that daddy is going to come into her room tonight...be a good girl for daddy honey and raise your skirt up and take off your underwear the way i taught you too... that's a good girl........ Your friend that's addicted to meth-amphetamines has decided that this christmas, its time to quit, but your condemnation is not helping............. your friend that is pregnant needs your support, not your constant sniping behind her back....

So this is what i am saying , in a nutshell: This christmas, its not all about you, its not all about your opinion about everyone else, this christmas, let it be about someone else.... And you will realise that, when you go outside of yourself, you are actually giving back to yourself. So baby, GIVE to yourself this Christmas.

~Honeywell

2007-11-25T18:45:00.000-05:00

So far so good.
I think my plans are going along well. With a baby shower and suprise parties, i think i have exorcised any party demons, at least for the mean time. Back to the grind *sigh*

2 tests this week, a paper to write, and 5 finals. Why do this to myself, i don't know. I still need to get that dang thing typed for international week.

So why am i here, seeing as i have a bunch of stuff to do? I don't know. I think that itch is coming again.

You know.

That Itch.

Comes every couple of years or so (i think every 2 years is a good estimate). Its the itch to break out of my skin, break out my environment, and go somewhere where i don't know anyone and start afresh. Usually, i can quell this by travelling (CA HERE I COME!), and that dose lasts me a while. But it'll come back. I know it.

Meanwhile, another beloved bastard is back again. Yup. Back again to wreak havoc. But i am usually able to defeat him quickly. Besides, i don't have time for that junk, seeing as i have a ton of stuff to do. Meanwhile, the daredevil in me has been trying for weeks now to rear its head, and i have been pushing back, but i do have to say that my immunity is down right now. I know that if i do it, i can get away with it, and like all human beings, i can justify myself to the point of shutting up my conscience. But i won't do it. You know why? Because i don't really want it. The fact that it comes and goes is testament enough. I think i just like to stir a ruckus (i get bored fast ladies and gentlemen). And now, i bid farewell, probably for a while, as i tackle Optics/Epidemiology/Ecosystems Ecology/the effervescent Alice Walker. KE KWANU?

Caged.

2007-11-25T18:37:00.000-05:00

Thud.

Thud.

Pssssssssssssss..............

There we go again.

Resolutions and revolutions

Around and around and around

Like the permanency of a nought

words clabber in my soul

phssssssssssssssssshh..........................

I hear them

they hear me.

conversation

the unism of evil

buried incidences, escaping reality, the refusal to face pain

Thud thud thud.......

Phew!!!!

2007-11-14T00:14:00.000-05:00

Started the weekend thinking i would get a whole lot of rest..... FAT CHANCE!!
Started out chilling, then working, then going for a baby shower/party/political war (don't ask). I actually lost my voice, arguing over tintillating topics (ah, the joys on the intelligencia :))

Worked, chatted, cooked (its suprising how much i cook, and i actually hate cooking).
Oh, and did i mention i fed 7 boys? yup. 7 Grown ass mehn. And lil' me. Wow. Was fun sha (minus the stalker gf of a friend, long story).

Plagued again by old nemesis. Emotional trivia yet again (sigh, i hate girls), but the peace of the Lord which passes all understanding reigns on my heart still--thank you God.

Connecting with my savior again, after all these months. Experiencing a joy that cannot be explained. Knowing that everything is sorted out... you should try it.

New Business: Male prospects, modelling, travels, work, heading 2 organisations, 5 more exams and 6 finals...... With God, i can do all things, nothing is impossible.......... :)

Questions.

2007-11-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

why

WHY!

Questions unanswered pounding thumping

curiosity the weed of the brain

Sniff........Sniff............

Aaaaaaaaahhh......... .

Satisfaction.

Patience demanded, required

not possible

The little devil jumps

aims higher

and higher

S***!!!!!

Where the hell is my weed?